Tag Archives: Thoughtful

Art Journal Thursday #23!

I am happy to announce that my Art Journal Thursday #23 video has been posted out on YouTube!

This week the materials I used were:

  • White gesso
  • Tissue paper – two different patterns, the teal and white chevron patterned tissue paper was from Paper Source
  • Gel medium
  • Dina Wakley Media Heavy Body Acrylic Paints: Lime, Magenta, Tangerine, Night
  • Apple Barrel Craft Paint: White
  • Balzer Designs Stencil: 12X12 Stones Divided
  • Balzer Designs Stencil: 6X6 Mini Fifties Clock
  • Dylusions Stencil: 9X12 Flossie
  • Fineline Bottle with White Acrylic Craft Paint
  • Distress Ink Reinker: Festive Berries
  • Uni-Ball Signo Broad White Pen
  • Pilot Permaball Black Pen
  • #2 Pencil
  • Scissors
  • Uhu Glue Stick

DSC06851Well, what can I say about my Art Journal Thursday this week? I was so excited to be finishing up with this particular art journal that I really had no idea where to begin. So, maybe that is where I will start in my explanation for this week’s art journal – my art journal. The journal that I have been using is a Strathmore 500 Series, Mixed Media Paper Journal, which I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this brand, and the paper is SUPER tough, and is so CREAMY to work on…the problem that I have been having is the S.I.Z.E!! I saw that Donna Downey (who I LOVE, by the way!!!) was using this size, 11×14 sized pages, I thought, “I CAN DO THAT!!!” Well, when you are a newbie art journaler, which I am, and you work full time at a non-artsy kind of job, which I do, and when you have committed to yourself to do a two page art journal spread EVERY SINGLE week, and NOT ONLY that, but to record your process and post out on YouTube EVERY SINGLE WEEK, which I SOOO INSANELY DID – you quickly come to the realization that THIS IS A LOT!!! 😉 You DO NOT want to make things harder for yourself by buying the LARGEST art journal that you can possibly find!! What was I thinking???

DSC06857So, the next art journal, which I will start using in next week’s art journal video, is a MUCH more manageable 8.5 x 11 size!! I CAN’T WAIT!!! 

DSC06848Anyway, back to this week’s spread! When I started I didn’t really have a plan, I usually don’t, but I knew that I wanted to use this AWESOME new tissue paper that I had found a Paper Source!

DSC06860Once I got my colors, patterns, and textures started it was very VERY tricky for me to reign it in, but I was having some good fun playing, and staying in my head!!

DSC06854I decided that I wanted to use all of that pattern as an element that would pop off of the page by covering a lot of it with a dark color, and a silhouette stencil. Once I had done that I wasn’t really sure where to go from there, but I had some deep, stop-and-listen-to-your-soul-cuz-she’s-a-speakin’ kind of thoughts going on, so I decided to grab my Fineline bottle with some white acrylic paint, and decided to journal some of those thoughts out onto my page.

“She knew that she was going to have to get out of her own way if she were ever going to make her dreams come true. No one was going to do the hard work for her. She knew it was going to have to be all up to her!”

DSC06869Yeah, I am not sure where that came from, because it came from someplace deep, deep down, and even as I write it now, I KNOW that it is the TRUTH that I am living with right now!

I am not sure if I really love the design of this finished spread – when I look closely it is kind of a bit of train wreck, and I know it definitely had parts of it that I would do differently (for example, the Distress Ink Festive Berries never did really dry – even after 48 hours!! UGH!!! I should’ve used my Dylusions spray ink with a dropper!), if I were to do it again, but for some reason that this spread really resonated with me, so my final thought is that I really LOVE it!!

What do you think? I would LOVE to hear your thoughts!! 🙂

Also, if you have any ideas, or techniques that you might like to see me try in one of my future layouts, please let me know in the comment section and I will see what I can do to be accommodating! Also, I really do LOVE answering any questions you may have about art journaling, mixed-media, or anything you might have seen me do here! Please feel free to ask questions in the comments, and I will try and get back to you in a timely manner!!

Until next time!

Here is to a BEAUTIFUL CREATIVE life! 😉

1 - Signature

If you want a different life, live differently!

Why Do I Art?

Crown HeaderGood afternoon!

I have been asking myself, and have been asked a lot lately about why I art?

Well, the short answer is that it is fun, but the long answer is that I have been using art journaling and mixed media to deal with a lot of stuff going on with me right now, mentally and emotionally!

I left a 14 year career in IT healthcare in July of 2014. I left with the idea that I was just taking a break…that this was just a sabbatical, and as soon as I was rested, then I would put my pantyhose and business clothes back on and get back to work. Well…I hadn’t really let myself listen to my soul whispers in almost 14 years, if not longer! I realized that, when I finally did get quiet, there was a lot going on inside of here that I had just really stuffed down, and did my best to hide from everyone including myself. As I started to get quiet and just listen, so many things started to pour out of me. The sense of immediate overwhelm almost left me catatonic…I was paralyzed with “what the hell is going on here??” kind of thoughts, and so many repressed feelings. Feelings of guilt, inadequacies, sadness, fear, loss, anger, resentment, years of self abuse, and ultimately a real longing for something more…but honestly I had no idea for what.

It has been 6 months since I have walked away from what I had thought was my security, future security, financial security, health security, benefits, etc, I realize that I had been putting my faith in all of the wrong things for far too long, and now that I am clawing my way out of the hole I have created for myself, and trying to climb out into the sunshine, I realize that I may never go back to that work no matter how good the money is. I also am learning first hand that I may have to let my life completely bottom out before I am actually successful at starting over again!

For someone who has always been the “fixer” and the “protector”, the idea that I may not have hit rock bottom yet, is very hard for me to acknowledge, but one that I am staring in the face.

There is a little church song that I grew up singing. It is called something like Spirit of the Living God Fall Afresh On Me…at least those are some of the words I can remember. The words to the chorus are:

  • Spirit of the Living God fall afresh on me
  • Spirit of the Living God fall afresh on me
  • Break me
  • Melt me
  • Mold me (we also added “Fill me” here too)
  • Use me
  • Spirit of the Living God fall afresh on me

I find that I am singing this song a lot lately. I think I am at the “Break me” point of this song. And man, can I tell you, it is rough…I have cried more in the last six months than I think I may have ever cried in the entirety of the rest of my life.

I know that really is more than the “break me” part, but I just have to keep pushing through to get to the melt me, mold me, fill me, use me parts of this little song. I just wish that the break me part wasn’t taking so long, or that it wasn’t quite as painful as it is turning out to be.

That is what arting is helping me move through. When I art, it forces me to be quiet – to shut up – to stop talking – stop over thinking everything – stop trying to control everything! That is just not possible in art! When you are arting, you have no choice but to go with the flow, and see where the finish product will take you!

I know that God has big things in store for my life…I have known that since I was a wee child! I just don’t know what that life is going to look like. I pray that it has to do with tons of arting and helping women! Those two things feeds my soul and makes me smile all the way down to my spleen, like I never thought possible! I want to be able to sit down and say, “I can NOT BELIEVE that I get paid to do this! I would SOOOOOO do this for free!!”

In the meantime, there is a very good possibility that I am going to lose my home, which in my heart I am okay with, in my head I am completely rebelling against the idea! I have been teetering with the idea of going back to my old job, just to help save our place, but the other night I had a dream that I had gone back to my old job, and in my dream, I was sitting at my office desk, getting ready to work. I looked up, noticed where I was, and I could literally see and feel my insides turn black like charred paper that had been set on fire, curl up and crumble away, into charcoal dust in the wind. I immediately awoke, feeling so sick to my stomach from what I had just seen and felt. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt that I could never go back, but then what? What am I going to do?

Do I keep pushing forward with my art? Teaching art classes and leading my Soul Book Club?? My soul shouts “YES!!!!” at the top of her lungs when she hears that message! So, I DO KNOW that that is what I am supposed to be doing, but how can I make a living doing that? I am not sure.

Until I figure that out, I am just going to have to keep walking in faith.

  • Faith that I am not alone.
  • Faith that even if we do lose everything, that this is a process. A process to help get me back on the path that I was meant for, not the one I had been mindlessly following for so long.
  • Faith that God really does have a plan for me.
  • Faith that God is talking to me through my soul whispers, and I really need to keep listening to Him.
  • Faith that everything really will be alright!

Wow! Could that have been any longer of an answer?? I just wanted to make sure you knew where my motives were coming from, and I am guessing there are going to be some big changes coming in the form of my living arrangement, which might effect how some of you get a hold of me, but after talking through it with myself…that is ok. It really will all be ok! I am worth fighting for, even if that might be the hardest thing I have ever had to do!!

Here is to living a life that is both artsy and authentically me!

1 - Signature

If you want ta different life, live differently!