Tag Archives: The Artist’s Way

A Morning of Questions!

Good morning!

You know I have always heard that life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. After the past day and a half, I am starting to believe that!

Well, starting with work! I won’t go into too many details, but there are some big changes going on there, that has proven that we are all expendable. There may be no such thing as job security anymore. I have heard that before, and I am not sure why I am just now thinking that is true, but apparently I have been living with my head blissfully stuck in the sand! OUCH!! That is hard reality to learn, right?

In my personal life, things have been going, at least I thought, pretty damn near perfect! Last night, I got another wake up call in that arena too! Let’s just say that someone who I love dearly is struggling with their own inner demons, and there is just not a lot I can do fix the situation. I can just love and support that person while all the time praying for them. Sad. I wish I could do more. To be able to say, “See this is how I fixed this with myself, you can do exactly the same things and you can fix yourself too!” Doesn’t work that way – we are all unique, and we all have to move through our stories our own way. We are kind of like those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books that I used to LOVE reading as a child!! You never know where you will end up, but you know that somewhere along the way that there will be a decision that will lead you to a happy ending, or too an early dramatic death. Now, maybe real life isn’t that simple, matter of fact, I am sure of that – but I feel like my life is one of those books, and at every fork in the road, I have to make the decision – “Yes, or no?”. Every answer seems to be leading me to a completely different destination!

Last night, I had this intense desire to pack up my entire life and just run away from this life. I realize that would NEVER solve anything because no matter where I end up, there I will be! 🙂 Yes, momma, I was listening!! 😉

Some good news though! I have been doing my morning pages (from The Artist’s Way program), and somewhere along the way, within the past 5 years, I seemed to have lost the ability to dream, which has always really bothered me because I have ALWAYS been a very avid dreamer. Since starting my morning pages, I am into week 4 starting this morning, my dreams have started coming back, however they have been really disturbing! Last evening my sweetie and I were out for a drive out in the country and we were talking about a couple of my more disturbing dreams, trying to psychoanalyze them. Well, in doing this I was able to get some mental clarification on what my subconscious is trying to tell me. I think that through my work on my inner self, using The Artist’s Way program, I have tapped into a place deep down inside of me that I thought was dead. My authentic self, my creative self. Now that I realize that know that not only is it alive and kicking, it is screaming to be let out!!! However, I am scared that someone is going to come along the way and tell me that I am not allowed to tap into this inner creativity that I have rediscovered, and it will die again. How is that for deep??? I know, I sometimes even surprise myself!!! LOL! 😉 But honestly, I am really thankful for having this program come into my life at the exact right moment I was ready to put it into action – I know I must sound like some kind of commercial for it, but I don’t get any kind of compensation or anything from The Artist’s Way people, I am literally just a reader, and a doer, whose life is changing for the better because of this insightful program!!

Alright, that is enough of my soapbax this morning!!! 😉 I am going to get some more cleaning done, I am hope that I can get all of the laundry done and put away, including the bedding for bed this evening! Which mean, I had better get hoppin’!!!

Have a FABULOUS evening!! 😉

A Creative Day!

A lovely pic taken & sent to me, by my sis, Alex!! 😉

Good morning!

I have just gotten into the office and am getting ready to start my working day! The sun is shining and my entire desk is just glowing in the sun – I LOVE IT!!! It is such a different feeling then being here when it is grey, rainy, and cloudy! However, I am not complaining! I am just soooooo thankful to have such a nice large window to be able to see out of!!! BLISS!!

Tonight is my belly dancing class, and I have decided to leave the office about 1/2 an hour early today so that I can go accomplish one of my weekly assignments for the book I am reading, ‘The Artist’s Way’. The assignment is, is that I am supposed to choose 5 creative careers other than the career I am doing, and then choose to act out one of those careers in your life sometime this week! Well, today is that day!!

My 5 Creative Careers for me are:

1.     Professional Blogger
2.     Photographer
3.     Writer/Author
4.     Home Boutique Owner
5.     Magazine Editor

Actually, that last one is brand new! Magazine editor just popped into my head, and had to bump off another career choice off of my list, which was Fashion Designer.

I have decided that if there is a way to do it, I would love to blog full time! One of the things I keep stumbling across is that your blog should have a niche, and I am not sure if up to now it has actually had one. So, if I had to choose a niche – it would still have to remain kind of general, because I have soooo many interests, but I would like to think that my blog would be about living – more specifically finding joy and satisfaction in living your life while honoring your authentic self. For me that would mean, sharing my life with you, my readers, and giving hints, tips, advice, and how-to’s for all sorts of things that I have and am learning along the way.

Is that a niche??

Hmmmm…I am not sure!

It doesn’t matter, I am becoming a fast and firm believer of start where you are, with what you’ve got, learn along the way, and before you know it you will be where you always knew you wanted to be!!! My belly dance instructor keeps saying, “Stop thinking so hard, get out of your own way, you are doing the actions, so just let them happen!”

This maybe should be my life’s motto!?!? 😉

So I am getting out of my own way, and I am blogging every day now, as most of you know, but today, I am going to get out into this sunshine and start playing photographer. I am not going to judge my work, I am just going to get the shots into the camera and share them with the universe!!! and I am just going to see what happens!!

Have a FABULOUS morning!!! 😉
~Christina

A Reading Day!

Good Morning!

I have had a very good weekend so far. I spent the day yesterday taking care of myself; writing, resting, taking some time to get pampered, spending some quality time with my sweetie. I met my girlfriend, Dawn, for dinner at Venti’s last night! I love catching up with Dawn! Things sound like they are going very well for her, but her story is not mine to tell. I am just so thankful that she is happy – she really deserves to be happy!!!  😉

We did get to do some wedding talk, which was fun! I have never been a matron of honor before and really don’t know what is expected, besides make sure that the bride is not stressed by anything on her wedding day!

Ok, done!

I CAN DO THAT!! 😉

Oh, yeah! That and the bachelorette party, but Dawn is so sweet, she said she didn’t care if that was just her and I going out and doing something fun!!! I think we should have a girls’ weekend up in Portland or Seattle, just the two of us! or maybe Sammy too!! We could take a leisurely train ride up, have a spa day, a staying in a FABULOUS hotel with a BEAUTIFUL view. Spending the whole weekend giggling, walking, shopping, good food, good drinks, take in some of the sights. I will have to run it by her and see what she thinks!! I think we should do that about a month before the wedding, so that she doesn’t have to worry about ANYTHING!!!! 😉

Yes, I can do that too!! 😉

Ok, so back to today, besides doing chores and getting ready for this week of work, I am going to be doing A LOT of reading!! I am in the middle of four different books right now, so I am trying to touch base with each one. The four books I am reading are:

  1. What the Deaf-Mute Heard
  2. Full Heart Satisfied Belly
  3. The Artist’s Way
  4. The City of Fallen Angels

However, my girlfriend, Chris, and myself are trying to read the new book by Cassandra Claire, City of Fallen Angels, together. This means that we have an agreed upon stopping point, and when we see each other at work, we discuss what we have read so far. Currently I am just starting chapter 5. Chris and I had agreed that we were going to read to chapter 10, but apparently it is getting good, because Chris texted me yesterday and told me that she was going through chapter 14! LOL!!!

So, I had really better get cracking!!! 😉

Right now, Jason and I are taking a break from chores, mainly so I can get my morning blog posted. We are listening to a variety of music playing – my i-pod actually! Right now one of my favorite Keili’i Reichel Hawaiian songs are playing. Jason just commented that he really liked it – I do to, it is very peaceful, and reminds me of my family!! 😉

Which reminds me, I had better call and touch base with them today so they don’t think that I have fallen off the face of the earth somehow!! 😉

Have a FABULOUS morning!! 😉

Friday Night Wrap Up!

Good evening!

First I wanted to start out by saying…to my daddy & his wife Trudi! They have been married four happy years, today!!! I wish you both the VERY BEST!!! 😉

I love you very much!! 😉

When I was trying to decide what to write about this evening, I thought that I would just share with you that this has been a VERY GREAT week. Between my new habit of writing for an hour in my “Morning Pages” every morning, or getting brave enough to start a 3-month belly dancing class, at the size that I am, this has been a FABULOUS week of self-discovery.

I have always felt that I have had a pretty good handle on who I was, and what I wanted out of life, but the action of writing my scatter-brained-random-crazy-confusing thoughts down on paper, in my own handwriting, with no set writing rules, for an hour every morning has given me a clarity about myself that I have never experienced in all of my 35 years of living. I am starting to see things about myself that I’d always hoped would be present, and actually are, and some things that I have wanted to be present, more out of envy than true want, but will never be.

Both are ok.

Both define who I am.

I am starting to see that I am good.

And knowing who I authentically am, and who I am authentically not, is such an eye opener and the giver of true freedom.

Freedom to be me.

Without fear.

Without worry.

Without self-judgement.

That is huge for me. That might be huge for you too, I don’t know.

I took my first MAJOR step in literally stepping out of my self-imposed box, and took a belly dancing class. A belly dancing class that will last for 3 months, mind you!!  Being a 300+ pound woman, the old me would NEVER EVER have been brave enough to do that!! I was trying to talk myself into skipping the whole thing and just going home, all the way up through having to walk out of the dance studio’s restroom, after changing into my leggings and t-shirt, and I just stopped and remembered what I had already had discovered in my morning pages. I am an artist. I knew like a flash that I was not going to chicken out. For once in my adult life I was actually going to follow through with one scary thing on my life list simply because I knew it was AUTHENTICALLY ME!! I am an artist.

I am an artist.

I AM AN ARTIST!!!

I want to shout it from the rooftops!!

This is something that I have always, ALWAYS wanted, and was just too damn chicken to bring it to the forefront of my reality! I AM AN ARTIST! I get teary-eyed saying it out loud even now. I AM AN ARTIST! I ALWAYS have been, since I was as young as I can remember. Going to a belly dancing class is something that a creative person would do. When I made that mental connection then I wasn’t scared anymore. I walked out there, into the middle of all of these women – who I am sure have all of their own body issues going on, and are too focused on that, to be focusing on my body issues, stood right in front of the dance studio’s windows and I GAVE IT MY ALL AND HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE!! It was as if I had taken a deep breath for the first time since I stopped playing music almost 13 years ago.  I am an artist.

Wow! I have always been a firm believer that God has a dream for you, but not only that, but that His dream for you is WAAAAAY BIGGER than you COULD EVER IMAGINE for yourself! I don’t know what the future holds, or what more the next 11 weeks of Morning Pages is going to help me uncover about myself, but I think that this week, I got a glimpse of God’s bigger plan for me, and it just jazzes me more than I could EVER imagine!! I guess that is the point, isn’t it?

He is bigger.

He is greater.

There is a little song that we used to sing as children, and these are the words:

God is so good,
God is so good,
God is so good,
He’s so good to me.

This simple little song sums up my feelings perfectly.

Have a FABULOUS evening! 😉

A Morning of Excitement!

Good morning!

Well, I am seriously late on getting my posting out the door this morning! I have been running myself ragged trying to accomplish a bunch of stuff of my to-do list every morning, and Thursday’s are kind of hard because I have to get to work a little earlier than normal.

Tonight is my first belly dancing class. I am so scared, and nervous, and super excited all at the same time!! This is my way of challenging my bravery muscles by stepping outside of my comfort zone and doing something that I have always been super envious of others who have been ballsey enough to do – so now IT IS MY TURN!!! 😉 I couldn’t decide what to pack to wear for this evening – you should have seen me freaking out in my huge closet this morning! I have decided on a simple pair of black capris, a tank top with a fun t-shirt over the top of that. I may not be too stylin’, but at least I will be EXTREMELY comfortable!!! 😉

I finished my morning pages this morning! I am really LOVING the process of doing those! I have to get up at 5:30 in the morning to get them done, because they take me almost an hour to do. They really help clear the clutter out of my head, and help me focus on what is really important to me right now. I only started doing these pages on Saturday, and in the few short days I have started doing them, I have really learned A LOT about myself that I WAS COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS too!! How does that happen??? I have lived with myself for 35 years, and apparently I am just meeting myself for the very first time!! 😉 

The morning pages process comes from the book The Artist’s Way. I have the morning pages journal which doesn’t have too much from the original book, but it basically skims the surface on how to tap into your inner artist. When I first found the book, I couldn’t afford it, but my Sis, Alex told me that she has found it for me for only $8 and will be sending it up my way! I CAN NOT WAIT TO GET MY HANDS ON IT AND START READING!!! I LOVE it!!! Thank you, Sissy!!! You are THE BEST!!! 

Anyway, I had better get back to the business of living life! It will be late, but I will try to post at least SOMETHING this evening about my class tonight!! I can’t wait! I really just am SO STOKED!!! 

Have a FABULOUS day!! 😉
~Christina