Tag Archives: The Artist’s Way Morning Pages

A Different Saturday!

Good evening!

I have had a different kind of Saturday, a day focused mainly on art, and creativity. I am watching a documentary on, artist, Alice Neel. She was a very intriguing woman. It sounds like she led a life that was surrounded in a kind of sadness. Her paintings are quite amazing, however. She was a portrait artist, painting portraits of people. Her pictures seem almost alive, with breathing, moving subjects. There is something very energetic about them. What an amazing talent Alice had. I am shocked that she never sold many of her paintings, if she sold any. Amazing woman.

I finished reading The Artist’s Way today. I am pretty proud of myself that stuck that out! I have also finished filling up my Morning Page’s journal! That, to me, is freakin’ amazing!!! I have learned so much about myself since I started this journey, more than 13 weeks ago. I learned that I am braver than I thought I was capable of being, and that I have given myself permission to step off of the sidelines of life and get into the flow of action! That has been very exciting, and if I were to walk away from this program with only that lesson learned, then that was ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT!! 😉

Tomorrow I start the next book, Walking in this World: The Practical Art of Creativity. This book is also by Julia Cameron. I will continue to do my morning pages, and my weekly artist dates, but just from initial glance, this book will also make daily walks part of the creative process. I am excited to see what the next 12 weeks bring.

Anyway, I realize that this is a short post, but it is late, and I am really into this documentary, so I am bidding you adieu until tomorrow!

Have a FABULOUS evening! 😉

 

Walking in this World: The Practical Art of Creativity

A Lazy Saturday!

Good evening!

Today has been the BEST kind of Saturday – a LAZY one!! 😉

I have literally done whatever I wanted all day today, and that basically meant watching movies, working on some homework through my daily morning pages, playing with my girls, and having dinner with my sweetie!!

My homework that I am slowly, but surely making it through this weekend is that I am supposed to go through all of my morning pages and highlight all of the insights, and make a list of all of your actions that need to be taken care of. THIS IS GOING TO TAKE ME A WHILE!! I have a total of 11 weeks worth of pages so far, and I am only just past the first week, and I already have 3 pages of to-dos!!! WOW!! I am going to have to SERIOUSLY prioritize what is important to me, and what was just a fleeting thought!

Jason got back from camping with the guys, and it sounds like they camped in the rain the past day and a half! I love that, camping in the rain! It is so peaceful to listen to the rain pitter-pattering on the tarp covering our tent – you should always be prepared when you camp in Oregon! 😉 I am glad that he had fun, but he is a little bit snarky tonight! I am going to have to give him a wide berth until he gets some sleep, I think!! no worries, I still love my little rascal, though!!! 😉

Talking about camping, we are meeting up with my sister, Alice’s family, to go camping over at Beverly Beach! We have such a great time over there, and it is close enough to all kinds of civilization, and within walking distance of the beach! Which reminds me, I will have to be on the lookout for a pair of size 18 tennies for Jason!! but I digress!! 😉 The clan is going to be Alice, her hubby Paul, their kiddos Aaron, Gavin, and another kiddo, Taelynn, also Jason and myself. We will be staying in 2 different campsites, that are separated by only a path. So, we should have fun!!

I am off to get some shut-eye…

Have a FABULOUS evening! 😉

A Thankful Friday!

Good evening!

I am sorry I am getting around to posting so late, but I have busily, and happily “arting” as we now call my art studio time in my house!! I have made quite the mess this evening, and I am going to have to make sure it all gets cleaned up before I go to bed this evening, otherwise, I will have some difficulty doing my morning pages in the morning, if there is no room at the inn, so to speak!!

Jason is still away, camping with the guys, and I am sure that they must be having a lot of fun!! He will be back sometime tomorrow, in the meantime I am just busy toodling around then house, running errands, and “arting” my life away!! I just LOVE that!! You know, arting, as in to art!?!

Anyway, we have had some questions in my department at work about our organization structure, teams, and who is going to land where doing what. Well, this morning was the meeting where we all FINALLY found out what was going on, and to sum it up, the CIO said, that “Most everyone has had their cheese moved”, and when he put up the org chart – he wasn’t kidding!! We are almost all moved around! My team has been split and I am moving, along with two other of my teammates, to another team! Whew!! I think, after thinking about it all day, that these are going to be good changes, and no matter what happens God always puts me where he wants me!! So, I am not going to worry about it, and continue to do my best, WHEREVER THEY WANT ME!! 😉

Let’s see, what else? Oh, my morning pages! I realized this morning that I have been doing morning pages for 11 weeks!! it feels like I just started doing them yesterday! So, what that means is that week 12 is my last week in this journal, which I will have COMPLETELY FILLED UP! (one of my life list goals) YEAH!! and I will have finished going through the entire Artist’s Way program!! I have the 2nd book ready, of the 3 book series, and I have another journal already on standby for being able to continue charting my course!!

I am so absolutely lucky to have stumbled on that morning pages book on the clearance rack, and for having a sissy who so very graciously, not only sought it out, but found, purchased, and sent me a copy of the Artist Way book in the mail!!!

WOW!!

WHAT A LUCKY GIRL I AM!!! 😉

Anyway, on that note, and the fact that my puppies are ready for bed, my little fat one is on the floor snoring at my feet even as I speak!!! It is time for me to call it a night!!!

Have a FABULOUS evening!! 😉

A New Evening!!

Good evening!

For most of the day today, I have been frantic whirlwind of cleaning, organizing and purging!! My art studio/office is starting to look better, but it seems that as soon as I clean up one pile, two more show themselves!! Those sneaky little pests!!! 😉 I did not take any pictures this evening, however, I’m confident that I will be able to in a few days, and the room will be completely done!!! WHEW!!

In the process of cleaning, purging and organizing my office/art studio, I am learning to realize just how important a safe place to create is for me. This is ABSOLUTELY priceless!! I am excited to see where my imagination can take me, and I know that having a clean, organized, clutter free space that truly represents my personality is something that EVERY GIRL should have! Especially, if one is trying to tap into one’s inner artist! I can honestly tell you that I don’t know where I will end up in 1 year, 5 years, 10 or 20, but I CAN tell you, that it is GOING TO BE GOOD!!

I want to give a shout out to my husband, Jason!! There were many times today, and this whole weekend, where I have been completely overwhelmed and needed either some moral support, cheerleading, or just someone with a stronger will then I to physically remove some items from our place that just needed to get donated or recycled!! Jason has done that for me, as he has on many occasions!! I love you, Sweetie, and I could not have gotten nearly as far as I have without your help! YOU ARE MY ROCK! You make my life so much better, and I still thank God that you are in my life. I TRULY am one lucky girl, and I OWE YOU SOOOOO BIG TIME!!! Thank you, Jay!

As for this week! I am not sure exactly what to expect yet, but priority number one is to get this art studio/office finished!!! Mamma needs a place to create!!

Work will be busy, but really, when is it not?? I also need to make sure that I get a couple of weeks on the calendar for our vacation! We are planning on camping with my sister’s family at the end of the month, but even that time has not been approved just yet! So, I will have to do some negotiating with some of my co-workers on that!

I am wanting to take a Zumbe class! I was planning on starting that next week, but I was burning my candle at both ends, still am, and that is going to have to wait a little while longer!! 😉 That is part of the reason for uncluttering my home so that I have more time and energy for doing the things I want to do – like Zumba!!

Have I told you that I am still doing my Artist’s Way morning pages, and weekly artist’s date with myself. I am, and I am still loving it! I was surprised to see that I was on week 9 of that process!!  The old Christina really never did very well with following through on things like this. This new Christina can’t imagine never not doing it!! They have radically changed the way that I look at my life, which in turn has changed me!! For the better!! I am so much happier than I was in the past, and I have reconnected with my creator, and now have hope for a different future than the dismal one I was settling for!! now, if only this new Christina could just lose some weight, and figure out world peace, all would be DIVINE wouldn’t it??? LOL! 😉

Until I speak with all tomorrow…

Have a FABULOUS evening!! 😉

 

A Challenging Weekly Challenge!

Good evening!

As many of you may already know, I have been following the 12 week program, called The Artist’s Way. I am in week 5, and I have to tell you that doing this program may be ONE OF the BEST things that I have ever done in my adult life to in my quest to bettering myself!! I have been consistent with my Morning Pages, every singly morning, whether I want to do them or not, and I have gone above and beyond on making sure that I get my artist’s dates and weekly questions done EVERY SINGLE WEEK! However, I think that week 5’s challenge is going to be the one that REALLY tests my resolve!!!

This week’s challenge is supposed to help you listen in on what your inner voice is saying by avoiding any and all outside media. So, the challenge for this week is that I am not supposed to read any books, or magazines, watch any television, or movies, or play on the internet.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!

I didn’t realize what a crutch these things have been for me until I tell myself I am not allowed to do any of these things!!! I think I have used a lot of these activities to just “numb out” over things in my life.

How many of you do that?

Is it only me??

Let’s just say, it may be a very long week!!!

I know that every step of the process so far has been, just that, a process, and so far I have learned something new about myself all along the way!! So, for this week’s challenge I thought something that might get me through this challenging week would be to have some activities on hand, so that I don’t have to try and figure out what to do at the last minute – a la “I’m bored” style!! Not that I would really have anyone, but my poor sweetie to whine to about this, but I digress!! 😉

Some optional activities for this week will be:

  1. Writing
  2. Drawing
  3. Painting
  4. Cleaning
  5. Organizing
  6. Kissing
  7. Swimming
  8. Walking
  9. Cooking
  10. Baking
  11. Skipping
  12. Dog walking
  13. Photographing
  14. Miniature golfing
  15. Sculpting
  16. Bowling
  17. Dancing
  18. Stretching
  19. Sleeping
  20. Meditating
  21. Day dreaming
  22. Recycling
  23. Volunteering
  24. Making Love
  25. Twirling
  26. Laughing
  27. Card playing
  28. Any game playing in general
  29. Dressing up
  30. Playing make believe
  31. Making a video
  32. Playing with makeup
  33. Listening to music
  34. Blogging
  35. Decorating
  36. Furniture arranging
  37. Collaging
  38. Nature walking
  39. Yoga
  40. Mani/Pedis

That is a pretty healthy list, and some of these things really excite me to think about being able to do this week!! There will be no need to “Numb out” this week, I can just get out there and

LIVE, LIVE, LIVE my life!!!

You know what Auntie Mame always says,

“Life is a banquet and most poor sons of bitches are starving to death!”

OK, so I realize that is a movie reference, but I didn’t watch it, I am just recalling it, so I think that counts as being compliant!!! LOL! 😉

Have a FABULOUS evening!!! 😉

Random Thoughts for the Day!

Good evening!

To say that I am tired is quite the understatement. I am zonked, pooped, spent, drowsy, lethargic, sleepy, drained, bushed, wasted, stale, exhausted, weary, beat, haggard!! In other words I am ready for a breather!!! 😉

My sweetie has totally made my day this evening! He new that I was having a long day, and when I got home today, I was pleasantly surprised to see that not only did he make dinner tonight, he even set the table nicely and we had a nice dinner together!!! I know you guys must be so sick of hearing this, but I am really SO IN LOVE with my husband!! He is SUCH a KEEPER!!! 😉

Ok, so what has been going on with me?? Well, I am still doing my morning pages from The Artist’s Way. I am into week 4 now, and I REALLY DO SWEAR BY THEM!! I can’t ever imagine me not doing them again!! By clearing the “clutter” and negative self-talk out of my head, they have helped me tap into a part of myself that I thought was long since dead, and in reality it was just a part of me that I had let go dormant.

In the last four weeks, I know I have really changed a lot. I find that my perception about the world around me has really changed for the better, and I think that those closest to me have been able to see that. I feel like I don’t have to be a doormat any longer, always trying to please my friends and family, although I still like pleasing them, I don’t have to do it at the sake of myself and my own happiness. Now, I am part of the equation.

In the movie Eat, Pray, Love, Julia Robert’s character says something like I have worked so hard to create this life, why can’t I see myself in it. I feel like that really summed up what I had felt about me in my life. Every single thing I have in this life is because I created it. I did the work, I made the sacrifices, and I made it all happen, but why wasn’t I happy. Because I realized that I wasn’t there – I wasn’t represented in my own life, I wasn’t present!! What a wake up call!

Doing my morning pages, writing my thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, and dreams out on paper for an hour every morning, has helped me get out of my own way, and find out what truly makes me happy! A lot of those things that make me happy now are the same things that made me happy when I was a little kid, and rediscovering that has really opened a world of true joy in my life!!

Some of those things are:

  • Walking barefoot through the grass
  • Playing with my best friend out in the rain
  • Reading a good book while laying upside down in bed
  • Coloring
  • Making something from nothing
  • Racing to the other end of the pool while holding my breath the whole way
  • Making a fort with my sweetie just for the sake of having a fort to play in
  • Trying a new recipe just for myself
  • Laughing so hard with friends that you all end up crying from happiness!!
  • Dancing as if no one is watching
  • Not caring when I realize someone is! 😉

I am learning that it is all these things that bring you back into your own life, it is what is bringing me back into mine. These minor changes have made me excited to get up in the morning, which is a huge change from getting up every morning because I feel obligated to, or it is the responsible thing to do. I also realize the truth in the quote from the movie The Answer Man,

Kris Lucas: Why can’t I do the things I want to do? There’s so much I know I’m capable of that I never actually do. Why is that?
Arlen Faber: The trick is to realize that you’re always doing what you want to do… always. Nobody’s making you do anything. Once you get that, you see that you’re free and that life is really just a series of choices. Nothing happens to you. You choose.

This has been something that I have been whining to my husband for YEARS!! Why can’t I do what I want to do? When is i t my turn??? By using my Morning Pages, I get it! I FINALLY am understanding that I DO choose! I get to do it right now, and every moment, of every day! That knowledge is what true freedom is all about!! I am so thankful for this book, and my sissy who sent it to me, thank you Alex!! Opportunities are presenting themselves all around me, and all I have to do is be open to trying out new things, and not being afraid to walk down new paths!! So, tonight I am going to take care of myself by having a nice, peaceful and quiet evening, and letting myself fall asleep nice and early!! NOW THAT is what happiness is all about!! 😉

Have a FABULOUS evening!! 😉

A Morning of Questions!

Good morning!

You know I have always heard that life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. After the past day and a half, I am starting to believe that!

Well, starting with work! I won’t go into too many details, but there are some big changes going on there, that has proven that we are all expendable. There may be no such thing as job security anymore. I have heard that before, and I am not sure why I am just now thinking that is true, but apparently I have been living with my head blissfully stuck in the sand! OUCH!! That is hard reality to learn, right?

In my personal life, things have been going, at least I thought, pretty damn near perfect! Last night, I got another wake up call in that arena too! Let’s just say that someone who I love dearly is struggling with their own inner demons, and there is just not a lot I can do fix the situation. I can just love and support that person while all the time praying for them. Sad. I wish I could do more. To be able to say, “See this is how I fixed this with myself, you can do exactly the same things and you can fix yourself too!” Doesn’t work that way – we are all unique, and we all have to move through our stories our own way. We are kind of like those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books that I used to LOVE reading as a child!! You never know where you will end up, but you know that somewhere along the way that there will be a decision that will lead you to a happy ending, or too an early dramatic death. Now, maybe real life isn’t that simple, matter of fact, I am sure of that – but I feel like my life is one of those books, and at every fork in the road, I have to make the decision – “Yes, or no?”. Every answer seems to be leading me to a completely different destination!

Last night, I had this intense desire to pack up my entire life and just run away from this life. I realize that would NEVER solve anything because no matter where I end up, there I will be! 🙂 Yes, momma, I was listening!! 😉

Some good news though! I have been doing my morning pages (from The Artist’s Way program), and somewhere along the way, within the past 5 years, I seemed to have lost the ability to dream, which has always really bothered me because I have ALWAYS been a very avid dreamer. Since starting my morning pages, I am into week 4 starting this morning, my dreams have started coming back, however they have been really disturbing! Last evening my sweetie and I were out for a drive out in the country and we were talking about a couple of my more disturbing dreams, trying to psychoanalyze them. Well, in doing this I was able to get some mental clarification on what my subconscious is trying to tell me. I think that through my work on my inner self, using The Artist’s Way program, I have tapped into a place deep down inside of me that I thought was dead. My authentic self, my creative self. Now that I realize that know that not only is it alive and kicking, it is screaming to be let out!!! However, I am scared that someone is going to come along the way and tell me that I am not allowed to tap into this inner creativity that I have rediscovered, and it will die again. How is that for deep??? I know, I sometimes even surprise myself!!! LOL! 😉 But honestly, I am really thankful for having this program come into my life at the exact right moment I was ready to put it into action – I know I must sound like some kind of commercial for it, but I don’t get any kind of compensation or anything from The Artist’s Way people, I am literally just a reader, and a doer, whose life is changing for the better because of this insightful program!!

Alright, that is enough of my soapbax this morning!!! 😉 I am going to get some more cleaning done, I am hope that I can get all of the laundry done and put away, including the bedding for bed this evening! Which mean, I had better get hoppin’!!!

Have a FABULOUS evening!! 😉

Friday Night Wrap Up!

Good evening!

First I wanted to start out by saying…to my daddy & his wife Trudi! They have been married four happy years, today!!! I wish you both the VERY BEST!!! 😉

I love you very much!! 😉

When I was trying to decide what to write about this evening, I thought that I would just share with you that this has been a VERY GREAT week. Between my new habit of writing for an hour in my “Morning Pages” every morning, or getting brave enough to start a 3-month belly dancing class, at the size that I am, this has been a FABULOUS week of self-discovery.

I have always felt that I have had a pretty good handle on who I was, and what I wanted out of life, but the action of writing my scatter-brained-random-crazy-confusing thoughts down on paper, in my own handwriting, with no set writing rules, for an hour every morning has given me a clarity about myself that I have never experienced in all of my 35 years of living. I am starting to see things about myself that I’d always hoped would be present, and actually are, and some things that I have wanted to be present, more out of envy than true want, but will never be.

Both are ok.

Both define who I am.

I am starting to see that I am good.

And knowing who I authentically am, and who I am authentically not, is such an eye opener and the giver of true freedom.

Freedom to be me.

Without fear.

Without worry.

Without self-judgement.

That is huge for me. That might be huge for you too, I don’t know.

I took my first MAJOR step in literally stepping out of my self-imposed box, and took a belly dancing class. A belly dancing class that will last for 3 months, mind you!!  Being a 300+ pound woman, the old me would NEVER EVER have been brave enough to do that!! I was trying to talk myself into skipping the whole thing and just going home, all the way up through having to walk out of the dance studio’s restroom, after changing into my leggings and t-shirt, and I just stopped and remembered what I had already had discovered in my morning pages. I am an artist. I knew like a flash that I was not going to chicken out. For once in my adult life I was actually going to follow through with one scary thing on my life list simply because I knew it was AUTHENTICALLY ME!! I am an artist.

I am an artist.

I AM AN ARTIST!!!

I want to shout it from the rooftops!!

This is something that I have always, ALWAYS wanted, and was just too damn chicken to bring it to the forefront of my reality! I AM AN ARTIST! I get teary-eyed saying it out loud even now. I AM AN ARTIST! I ALWAYS have been, since I was as young as I can remember. Going to a belly dancing class is something that a creative person would do. When I made that mental connection then I wasn’t scared anymore. I walked out there, into the middle of all of these women – who I am sure have all of their own body issues going on, and are too focused on that, to be focusing on my body issues, stood right in front of the dance studio’s windows and I GAVE IT MY ALL AND HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE!! It was as if I had taken a deep breath for the first time since I stopped playing music almost 13 years ago.  I am an artist.

Wow! I have always been a firm believer that God has a dream for you, but not only that, but that His dream for you is WAAAAAY BIGGER than you COULD EVER IMAGINE for yourself! I don’t know what the future holds, or what more the next 11 weeks of Morning Pages is going to help me uncover about myself, but I think that this week, I got a glimpse of God’s bigger plan for me, and it just jazzes me more than I could EVER imagine!! I guess that is the point, isn’t it?

He is bigger.

He is greater.

There is a little song that we used to sing as children, and these are the words:

God is so good,
God is so good,
God is so good,
He’s so good to me.

This simple little song sums up my feelings perfectly.

Have a FABULOUS evening! 😉

A Productive Morning!

Good morning!

Whew! This morning has been VERY productive!!! Last evening, I had purchase a book called “The Artist’s Way Morning Pages Journal” by Julia Cameron. Well, you can go read for yourself what that is, but basically it a guided journal that instructs you to tap into your inner-self by writing 3 pages of your thoughts first thing every morning!! For someone like me who seems to constantly be writing, that was a lot harder than I could have imagined!!! You are not supposed to “cheat” and type out the words, you are supposed to be engaging your whole self while you are being tactile with paper, pen, and writing your thoughts out long hand. Well, about a page and half into my writing this morning I was dealing with some serious writer’s cramp!!! All of my years of computer programming is catching up with me because my carpel tunnel is apparently just out of control! However, what came out on paper, kind of surprised me, and I can see how doing this exercise every morning, for the prescribed 12 weeks, could be VERY eye opening to what is going on inside of you. So, when I finished my third page, I had this strange sense of calmness, relief, and accomplishment. When I was finished I reread everything I had just spent the last hour writing, and I am not sure I would call it writing, but it is definitely a true representation of how my brain thinks, and my mind wanders from one topic of conversation to another. I think this Julia Cameron knows what she is doing, and I can’t wait to see what I discover about myself in the coming weeks!! I will keep you posted!!! 😉

Next on my self-appointed to-do list this morning was to get my taxes filed, both federal and state. Check and Check!! This was a lot more time consuming and more expensive than I was expecting, but it is done, and they are submitted, AND I am getting a nice return – WHOO! HOO! But, not that it is done, I am feeling very much at peace. I think balance might be something that may just be achievable!!

Next on my list is take Jason over to his truck, which is at his sister’s place, so he can go get some work done, and then I am going to take myself for a walk, and maybe watch a movie with the kiddos! We will see, I heard that they hadn’t watched Tangled yet, and now that Uncle Jay-Jay has bought it for me, and I LOVE IT, I thought it might be fun to share it with them!!! TOO FUN!!!

That is it for my plans today, but I know that after Jason is done working, we are talking about going out on a date! That should be fun!!! I may have to call our friends Dawn, and Erin and see if they are up for a get together!!! So, we will see where the rest of today leads us!!

Have a FABULOUS morning!!! 😉