I have a dream…
No really, I do!
I have a very vivid dream that I can see in my head of the life that I long to live. I won’t go into all of the specifics right now, but I will tell you that it involves color, paint, connecting and empowering women, the Oregon coast, and being a part of something far greater than myself.
When I close my eyes and see my dream, in rich, vibrant, & scrumptious colors, I must confess, I get a big ol’ lump in my chest because I cannot possibly fathom how I get from where I am standing now, to standing in this new amazingly exciting place.
I have a tendency to coddle this lump, and love it, and coo it, and let it know that is all going to be ok, but then I don’t ever step around this lump and do something to make my dream my reality. This lump, this fear, unconsciously becomes a welcome friend – like if I am feeling the fear than I know that I am still alive. I hear myself say this and think, “Man, that is crazy!” and it is, but it is a truth I have been living for a long time, and I think that just acknowledging this truth, and saying it out loud is going to be how I go about not letting this lump of fear hold me back any longer.
I have a natural tendency to dwell in that place of fear for a really long time…I think that there must be others who do the same. I have dwelt in that place of fear for so long that there are times when I feel that I should just get realistic, get my head out of the clouds, give up on my dreams, and just be satisfied where I am at. now. here.
BUT…
I realize that I choose.
Every day I choose.
I choose.
Today, I will consciously choose to acknowledge my lump of fear, that even as I type is faithfully sitting in my chest. I will thank it for trying to watch out for me – for trying to keep me from disappointment and pain, and I will give it the rest of the day off. It has been working too hard. 🙂
Today, I choose to take one small step toward that dream life, as daunting as that may be, and pray that I have the courage to do it again tomorrow, and the next, and the next.
Here is to feeling the fear and doing it anyway! 🙂
If you want to have a different life, live differently!
