Tag Archives: Stress

Spiraling! Spiraling!

A chain on a black background breaks

Good morning, Beautiful Creatives!

Okay, so here goes. Forewarning, I am keeping it real!

I am not doing so hot.

I am not sure if it is just that I am highly sensitive and there is not enough alone time, out in naturetime, quality time with the hubby, if living on east coast time while living on the west coast is becoming too much, or if there really is just too much going on in this girls life for her to handle.

I feel like I am spiraling the drain.

I am tired.

I am burnt out.

I feel completely and totally disconnected.

These are all things that my inner Chrissie is non too happy about!

I have learned long ago that there will be no one to come and rescue me, or save me, that if I want to fix what is going on, I have to take action and make the necessary changes happen. As much as I think I love change, the freshness, the newness, and the excitement that change can bring,

I am also quite scared of it.

I never want to hurt or disappoint anyone, but what I am learning is that you can’t live your authentic life without disappointing someone.

I know the change I need to make, a couple of them actually. I am not going to speak them aloud out here, I want the people affected to know first hand. These changes are big, life-upheaveal kind of changes, and if I am honest, VERY SCARY changes. and if you were looking in on my life, through a window, they might seem like, “WTF” kind of changes, but I have learned something else throughout this past year…

To live authentically, you have to live radically, and unapologetically.

You don’t ask for permission, you give notice.

(Thank you, Miss Lisa Nichols, for those lessons!)

For my sanity’s sake, and for my mental health’s sake, it is time to stop apologizing, give notice, and make the damn change already.

Yeah, that feels like it is Brave Girl Panty worthy!! 🙂

Here is to a Brave Girl Panty kind of day!

Having a Contingency for Dealing with the “Mean Reds”!

Good afternoon!

Have any of you every seen the Audrey Hepburn movie, Breakfast at Tiffany’s? It has always been one of my favorites!! There is a scene where Holly Golightly, Miss. Audrey Hepburn’s character, is talking about having the “mean reds”:

“You know those days when you’ve got the mean reds…. the blues are because you’re getting fat or maybe it’s been raining too long. You’re sad, that’s all. But the mean reds are horrible. You’re afraid and you sweat like hell, but you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Except something bad is going to happen, only you don’t know what it is.”
– Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Well, here is something you may not know about me…I have a tendency to have to work around the mean reds all the time! SO, to make sure that the mean reds do not rule my life, I make sure to always have a contingency plan of sorts in place! This is my list of 10 things I turn to whenever I find the mean reds starting to strike!

Get up and move! Dance, go for a walk, twirl (yes, I said twirl!), do something to get the blood pumping for at least 5 – 10 minutes!
Put on some “happy” music! For me that could be some really cool jazz, or soulful blue grass, or some music from my childhood, which for me would either be twangy country (garage sale-ing with my grandma – my FAVE!!!), or it could be some acapella Christian music (I was a pastors daughter don’tcha know?), I have even been known to rock out to some Disney tunes – I know, absolutely shocking right??? That is ok, I am currently in a 12-step program to deal with my “addiction”!! Hee! Hee! 🙂
Write it out baby!!! That is right, I always try to have a journal handy! No matter what is going on, I can always go find a quiet corner and just right out whatever it is that is going on at the moment, and somehow in doing that it alleviates whatever negative feeling is going on at the moment! I also love that you can go back later and see what seemed so terribly important at the moment; looking back on it,there are times when it kind of seems comical now.
Talking about writing, my new obsession is doodling!! I am doing that all the time, everywhere!! Staff meetings, waiting for my sweetie to get home, while watching the tele, while on vacation…EVERYWHERE!!!
Create some art! What I am talking about is beyond doodling. It is taking the time to get out the paints, and the papers, and the pens & inks, and just taking some time to create something that you will actually get to hang on your wall and see every day! Yeah – I LOVE THAT!!! 😉
Take a luxurious shower. This is not your average rushing-around-first-thing-in-the-morning-so-you’re-not-late shower, this is the OMG-I-have-a-full-30-minutes-to-just-luxuriate-in-the-my-shower-just-me-my-thoughts-and-my-loofa! Those moments don’t happen too often in my life, but I really should make more time for this – it is such a little thing!!! 🙂
Fall into a good book. Scratch that, I mean fall into a REALLY GOOD book!!! This is one of my main go-tos!! and I don’t mean reading some boring, dry non-fiction, something or other that you have to read for this thing or that. The book that you choose for trying to combat the mean reds should be a scrumdiddlyumptious fiction, something that if you read too many of might rot your brain!!
Call up a good friend!! This would be the best time to call up your BFF – you know who that is!! Be brave, step out! She might just love to meet you for coffee, or a relaxing stroll through downtown – or heck, she might even be dealing with the mean reds herself and could use some BFF time too!!
Meditate. This is something that I have only added to my mean reds arsenal within the last year, but just by getting silent, breathing deeply, and just concentrating on what is happening inside of myself & my truth, even if for only 10 minutes, has been a game changer for me!
Do something nice for someone else. It could be anything, big or small. Just the act of doing something for someone else takes you out of your own head and helps you focus on someone other than you! You may see that you don’t really have it as bad as you had originally made it out to be.

I know that, at least for me, and maybe you too, the mean reds will always have a chance to rear it’s ugly little head in my life, but with a contingency plan, I know that no matter what form the mean reds take for me, I know I will make it through! I hope this list has possibly given you some ideas on how to deal with your mean reds too!! 🙂

Here is to a HAPPY & Mean Reds Free day!! 🙂

If you want to have a different life, you have to live differently!!

Dealing with Change!

Good evening!

It has been a while since I last posted, so I thought I would spend some time this evening letting you know how things are going!

Since last we spoke, I have gotten on some much needed anti-anxiety/depression medication, and I must admit, for the first week or two, I was pleasantly pleased by how much better I felt. Not too long after starting these new medications I had some huge changes announced in my work life that neither myself nor my team had any control, input, or say over, and whether we liked it or not the changes were happening and they were going to happen in a very short amount of time. The changes have already started to take place, and to say that I am not dealing well is a HUGE understatement!

I have always prided myself on being an advocate for change, and I am always on the lookout for how to make things better, so I am not sure why I am struggling so badly now. I took a mental health day today – I was literally up all night stressing over what is going on at work – so I knew I needed to take some time to make my health a priority and get some much needed sleep. I really did have the best of intentions, but as soon as my sweetie left to go to work this morning, which was only about an hour after I had finally fallen to sleep, I was back up and just freaking about all of these changes at work that has just left me feeling so powerless and unimportant. I literally planted myself on my couch, with my two four-legged girls, and hung out under a blanket while giving my NetFlix account a workout!!

As soon as my sweetie found out that that is how I had been spending my day, and that my “meals” today consisted of some bread and peanuts, he scheduled an intervention, and told me to be dressed and ready to go out by 3, because “We are getting you out of the house!”

My sweetie, who is my Rock of Gibraltar, picked me up and took me downtown, on what he was calling a de-stressing date. He made sure that I took my new camera with us so that I can take pictures of anything that inspired me. He also declared himself my “sexy photographer’s assistant”, which is SOOOOOOO true! I am one lucky girl!! We had so much fun spending time just brainstorming what our next steps will be, even going through worse case scenarios, where he helped me see that even that wasn’t as bad as what I had made it out to be in my head. He convinced me that we really will make it through all of this, and we will do it together – see I told you I was a lucky girl!! I took a bunch of pics while my sweetie kept me laughing, and he even patiently stayed with me while I visited one of my favorite craft stores for a few new art supplies (as if I really needed any more) 🙂 Then he took me to one of our favorite restaurants where we were able to share a really delicious steak dinner, which was quite scrum-diddly-umptious, if I do say so myself!!!

We are now home, and I am seriously tired, and am wondering if 7:30 is too early to go to bed?? No worries! I am already in my pj’s, listening to some happy music and am ready to have a quiet evening truly relaxing at home! and even though I know that I am going to have to make some difficult decision over the next couple of months, tonight, at this moment, I am going to seriously be thankful for all that I do have. As my sister, Alex would remind me, “I am blessed. I am loved.” Yes, sissy, I am.

Here is to a much needed restful evening! 😉

If you want to have a different life, you have to live differently!!

Is This What Crazy Feels Like?

Good morning!

I told myself, when I decided to start this new blog, that the only way that this would be beneficial to anyone, including me, is if I agreed to be 100% totally honest, and use my absolute authentic voice. No more “everything-is-perfect-all smiles-all-the-time” blog posts for me! So here goes nothing…be brave…be brave…you can do it…

This morning I awoke from a really bad dream, my second in two nights. It was one of those dreams that leaves you shaken to the core, because unlike the nightmare from two nights ago, which was obviously caused by stress going on in my work life, this one hit too close to home. I watched one of my younger sisters fall to her death. UGH!!! Ok! Now, I know it was just a bad dream, and I am sure my lil’ sis is just fine, cozily snuggled up in her bed, fast asleep, but this dream may have been the final straw in my realization that my inner child’s needs are not being taken care of!

You, see there are a lot of areas of my life that I have been settling for second best, or even completely ignoring for far too long; areas like my work, health, finances, fitness, friendships, contribution to my community, commitment to my personal growth, and even my free-time and play has been suffering! And because I have not been honoring my authentic self in quite a while, my inner Chrissie is starting to throw a tantrum! You know the kind of tantrum I’m talking about? The kind that we’ve all seen kids throw, on the floor in the middle of a busy grocery store aisle, the kind where mothers of the offending child embarrassingly and yet innocently turn around and say, “Who’s child is this????”, as if it couldn’t possibly be theirs!! 🙂

I am learning that my inner Chrissie has a tendency to throw her own tantrums when she doesn’t get enough attention!

I can’t possibly be the only one who has ever experienced this, can she???

To top that off, there is a long history of mental illness in my family, and my biggest fear in life – and I mean bigger than my fear of being abandoned, or even my bigger fear of spiders (and anyone who knows me knows that THAT IS HUGE!!!!), my biggest fear is that somewhere along the path, that is my life, I am going to run right smack into mental illness, like it was just waiting all these years for just the right moment to strike, like a cold germ that was just waiting to be caught. This morning, after I awoke very shakily from my nightmare, my first thought was…

Is this what going crazy feels like????

I told my uber-sweet and ever supportive husband, “I think I am having a nervous breakdown”, and, without missing a beat, which was shocking because he was still half asleep, he reached out to hold my hand and very lovingly told me, ‘Well, you better get it over with quickly.” He was so serious, and yet so cute when he said it, I couldn’t help but laugh. “Thanks, love!” 😉

I know he meant it in the nicest way possible, but what he was really saying was we don’t have time in our schedules for your to be having a nervous breakdown right now, so please, get it over with quickly enough so that we can get you out of the house and to the office on time! LOL! 😉

As I am sitting here, in bed, typing this (yes, I know a laptop in bed is not good bed etiquette, but desperate times calls for desperate measures!) I can’t help thinking, “Ok, little Chrissie, I hear you, how can I get you to happy so we can sleep with sweet dreams again?”

The answer to this question is why I am here. That is why I created Beautiful Creatives AKA This Beautiful Life. My goal in this journey is that I can help myself, and in turn possibly help others get unstuck in their lives, and get from where they may find themselves, unhappy, unhealthy, unfulfilled, un-whatever (I’m just talking from my own experiences here), and get to where their souls are longing to be – mine included! I have a girlfriend who is a psychology professor, and she likes to say that you become what it is you need in your life, and right now, that is what I am hoping to do. I need a life coach, a mentor, a cheerleader, someone to hold my hand as I walk through this journey that is called life, I need resources for time management, stress reduction, overall getting-my-crap-together-ness. I want to use my personal experiences to help motivate and inspire others to stretch out, baby step by baby step and live life on purpose and to live life both deeply and widely! We were never meant to be one-dimensional beings!

I am not exactly sure what all this is going to look like, but I am going to keep my eyes, ears, and heart open and see what comes my way!! I hope you will join me, and I look forward to sharing more of my life with you, and creating a fun, and beautiful sisterhood of love, support, and encouragement!

Here is to living beautifully!

~Christina 😉

Freaking Out!

Good evening!
After having such a FABULOUS creativity inspired weekend, and quite honestly a really good day at work today, I had EVERY intention of coming home and diving head first into getting some more work on my budding creative business done.

BUT…

apparently I have decided that I first need to FREAK OUT before I make any true headway this evening!

GAAACK!!

I have let my negative inner voice get to me so badly that now I am near paralyzed with fear!

I am not sure what to do!

I don’t want to make the wrong decision!

HEE! HEE! HOOO!

Ok, now that THAT is out of the way… I KNOW that everything is going to be ok! I just have to

STOP FREAKIN” OUT!!!

You know, Kelly Rae has been talking about this since almost day one of our class. She says we all have our fears, it doesn’t matter where in the process you are – we are all going to be afraid of SOMETHING!! You have to acknowledge your fear, thank it for looking out for you, give it a time-out and do the thing your gut tells you to do anyway!!

Ok, I hear you, I am going to feel the fear and do it anyway! You see, I have been trying to decide what to name my business, which also means that I have to decide what I am going to re-name my blog, my professional Facebook page, Flickr account, Twitter, etc, etc, etc! Your business name is a VERY BIG DEAL!! Once your reputation is established, it could be VERY expensive to go through the process of completely revamping your name!! So, I really want to take the time to get it right on the first go around!

I have a couple of ideas in my head, and some thoughts on all my choices, but I just really can’t decide! As I hear myself say all of this, I am not sure why I feel like I have to decide this right this second. Hmmmm…good question, self! Very intuitive of you!! I think I am going to make sure that I have a mini journal next to my bed, and jot down any ideas that come to mind. I will know the right one when I hear it. It will just feel right!!

Crisis averted!!

WHEW!!

That was a close one!

I am sure that my sweetie was on standby with a small plate of dark chocolates, and foot massage chaser in case I was about to go to FULL MELTDOWN MODE!!!

Have I told you I really LOVE THAT MAN!?!?!?! 😉

Anyway, now that my freak out has passed, my official plan for the evening is to spend some time “Arting” up in my art studio, and do some more class reading – I am ALMOST caught up, so I have got to keep on keeping on!!

Thank you for hanging with me during my time of “crisis”!! If only ALL crisis blew over so smoothly!!

Have a FABULOUS evening!

Getting With The Program!!

Good morning!!

It has been a while since I posted first thing in the morning, so I thought today, I would get with the program, and get my morning thoughts down on paper, so to speak!

A couple of years ago, I remember watching this woman, on Oprah. This woman had the seemingly perfect life, whatever that is, and decided it was time to edit her life and surround herself with only the people, things, and activities that were the MOST important to her. I was so in awe of the changes that she made that I recorded that clip on my DVR, and literally watching one, two, and sometimes 3 times per day for almost a year. I no longer have that DVR clip, no longer having a DVR and all, but I am still so drawn to the idea of learning happiness through your actions, versus happiness through accumulation, that I often think of this woman and her family. It was AMAZING to me to see the transformation in her life, and to listen to her story. How calm and soft spoken she sounded – TWO MAJOR things that I AM NOT!! and how utterly happy she was, with what looked like SOOO LITTLE. I find that as much as I am drawn to the idea happiness through simplicity and focus, my actions in my own life don’t reflect this belief. Knowing that I don’t has caused me to live in an almost in a constant state of fear of the unknown and a never ending barrage of stress knowing that I am not honoring my authentic Christina.

With all of the stress that I have let myself be put under, I have been wanting to learn more about stresses effects on a person, so yesterday I watched an interesting documentary on stress and what it does to you on a biological level. What I heard was not good. Without going into any long, boring details. Mamma has got to start making some serious life changes here – and I have to do more than just TALK about it!! I want to live a LOOONG and HEALTHY life!!!

So, that is where my focus is today! What can I do to live a life that is more in balance with work/play, good stressers/bad, togetherness time/alone time, and me time/others time. I am not sure what that is going to look like, or what form some of those actions might take, but I am excited to see where the journey takes me!!

As for this exact moment? This journey is taking me to get my booty to work!! 😉

Have a FABULOUS morning!!! 😉

How to Be a Bombshell!

Good evening!!

I am spending some quiet time this evening reading my Self Magazine. They have this GREAT article in it about Sofia Vergaras. Have you heard of her??? She is someone that has recently caught my attention! She is the saucy mom on the television show, The Modern Family. This article is called,

Sofia Vergara’s Rules of Attraction: Start your engines, ladies. The Modern Family bombshell shows you six ways to put a little va into your voom.

Now with a title like that, who could possibly resist??? I know I can’t, AND my va could TOTALLY use some voom – so here I am, honey!!! 😉

Instead of copying her 6 steps to Va-Va-Voom-ness, I thought I would paraphrase and make them my own!!!

Tap into your inner Latina – Confident people have a way of carrying themselves that makes other more attracted to them. Latin women are very comfortable with their bodies and their sexuality. We aren’t afraid to show off a little bit more. Be proud of who you are and what you look like! If you have 5-10-15-100 pounds yet to lose – dress those pounds like you are SOOOO PROUD to own them!! They will eventually go away, but you will still be rocking your FIERCENESS!!
Flaunt your assets – Go look in the mirror and decide what physical feature of yours you like the best, and HONEY PLAY IT UP!! If it is your eyes, wear some smokin’ eyeliner and mascara every day, or if it is your decollete then always rock v-neck tops that feature your best asset! But, again, it is about being proud of who you are, and what you have and just WORKING IT!!
Laugh away stress – In my opinion, nothing can make you look more tired, and run down then when you have lost the lightness in you, that laughter and a sense of humor bring. Be able to laugh at yourself and be happy even under the worst conditions. When you see people in difficult times, that’s when their true nature comes out.
Eat what you crave – Constantly denying yourself is decidedly not sexy. Find a small way to indulge every day, but then balance that out with other healthy habits. By doing so, not only do you feel like you have just had a treat, but it will make healthy habits easier to stick to because you will not feel like you are depriving yourself of something that you “can’t have”.
Know when to say no – Take time to take care of yourself. You are not a machine, or the Energizer bunny! You NEED to have downtime to pamper yourself, and to re-energize from all that life may throw at you! It is hard to feel sexy when you are too busy looking haggard from running around like crazy, and constantly being on the go. Don’t be afraid to say no to someone who may want you to volunteer for one more activity, or trying to add one more thing to your to-do list. You will feel empowered that you took charge of your time, and you will look more relaxed and attentive for that next event where you are able to get in there and lend a hand.
Trade sit-ups for Salsa – Doing a physical activity that is fun, in my opinion, is not exercise, it is fun!! so make sure you get involved in activities that make you happy, while causing you to work up a good sweat! Dancing, swimming, sports with friends, biking your neighborhood, all fun. As my niece likes to say, LET’S GO PLAY!!!

I hope these tips motivate you to go out and give some of these a try. They are simple ways to feel your absolute BEST, and you never know you may just get a date with some hottie while you are out living in your new sexy self!!!

Have a FABULOUS evening!! 😉