Tag Archives: Morning Pages

The Practice of Morning Pages!

WritingGood evening!

In the American culture there is this subconscious message that you can not be happy if you are not constantly becoming more, doing more, giving more, socializing unceasingly, or accomplishing more. Unfortunately, this message is true even if it means the detriment of your health, level of happiness, quality of family-life, or self-sanity. We have gotten the message loud and clear that busyness equals success, noise and constant chatter the expectation, and that go-go-go is the absolute norm.

Being an American for the whole of my life, and having had bought into this notion as truth, I was surprised to discover that even though this belief might be the American mantra, it did not have to be my mantra any longer. In that moment, I made the realization that I was afraid to be alone, especially alone in silence. I was afraid to hear what my soul might have to say to me, and what of God?  I had always had a relationship with God, and at one time I had prided myself on being able to hear His voice; that still small voice at the very deepest of myself. I was afraid of hearing that too. Would He be disappointed in me? Had I let Him down? Had I let myself down? I wasn’t sure – I was too busy being busy to take the time to find out, but I knew it was time.

Time to slow down.

Time to turn off all distractions.

Time to make boundaries.

Time to be alone.

Time to get quiet.

Time to focus.

Time to breathe.

Time to listen.

As soon as I turned it all of, I realized being quiet, alone, and still was very difficult for me. There was a lot of me that I had been neglecting for a long time, and I knew that it was now or never to get to the heart of the matter. As soon as the initial jittery-ness and awkwardness of hanging out with my inner self fell away, I realized there was a lot of ME that I had been missing. What I was feeling, what I longed for, what I was craving, what I was afraid of, what brought me happiness, all of that started rushing to me loud and clear.

In all honesty that was rather overwhelming at first, but always having been an avid reader, I had stumbled across a tool that turned out to be invaluable for my healing, and something that I have practiced faithfully to this day. That tool was Julia Cameron’s The Artist Way Morning Pages. I know I was not the first to discover this truly life changing practice, but I have found that God does not give you the needed resources until you are ready to receive them, and I was ready. Boy was I ready.

The-Artists-WayWhat Morning Pages are, is a practice of writing 3 pages of long-hand uninterrupted thoughts, in the still quiet moments of morning. Just you, your soul, and God. You don’t focus on content, spelling, grammar, or structure. The goal is to write, non-stop, and just let everything in you spill out onto the pages.

Julia Cameron puts it best:

“Morning Pages are three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning. *There is no wrong way to do Morning Pages*– they are not high art. They are not even “writing.” They are about anything and everything that crosses your mind– and they are for your eyes only. Morning Pages provoke, clarify, comfort, cajole, prioritize and synchronize the day at hand. Do not over-think Morning Pages: just put three pages of anything on the page…and then do three more pages tomorrow.”

I get up at 5:30 every morning to make sure I have enough un-rushed, quiet moments in the morning to do these pages. Some days it is easier than others, and then there are days when my mind is a blank, and all I can write is “I am so tired, I can’t believe it is so early. I am just so tired.” but that doesn’t matter, it is just constant writing. These pages become sacred, and I have told my husband that no one is to read these pages. Ever. They are mine, and mine alone. Sacred.

When I need inspiration or help with a particular question, I find myself going back to my old pages (I am on my third Morning Pages journal), and I just read. Sometimes I read about a list of mundane to-do’s for the day, or there is a telling of a dream that I had had that night prior, that I have completely forgotten about by now, but then there are juicy tidbits that I sometimes wonder if I had actually written them. These are miraculous answers to questions that I had been struggling with, words of wisdom that seem to pop out at the most opportune times, or encouragement from a voice deep within that seem to come back to me at just the perfect moments.

These pages have become a sacred connection and window to what is going on inside of myself,both consciously and unconsciously. I find that I am more centered. Calmer. Able to look at my world with new eyes, and a new perception. It has helped focused me on what is truly important and who I really and most authentically am: A creative introvert, who truly loves people, and thrives best when I am either alone or with a small group of intimate friends!

I would challenge you to give this practice a try. Get up in the early hours of morning, with a pen, and a few pieces of paper, and just find a quiet corner to write 3 pages, long-hand, letting everything and anything spill out of you. Do this for about a week before you go back and re-read some of your thoughts.

I would LOVE it if you would take a moment to answer 3 questions regarding Morning Pages in the comment section of this post:

  1. What are your thoughts about Morning Pages?
  2. Is this a practice that you have taken up, or are planning on taking up?
  3. If you have taken up this practice, what has surprised you about your Morning Pages?

I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

Here is to a FABULOUS evening!! ;-)

Signature Line

If you want to have a different life, you have to live differently!!

Doing New Things!

JoggingGood evening!

I am having such a freaking good day, that I could not help but get excited and tell you all about it!!! 🙂

First of all, after over a year on hiatus, I have started writing my morning pages again! For those of you that may not know, morning pages are a tool that Julia Cameron developed, who by the way is the author of The Artist’s Way, a fabulous book that I highly recommend for anyone wanting to tap into their authentic inner self!! Anyway, back to morning pages, it is basically writing, free-hand your randomly flowing thoughts for 3 pages first thing every morning. It is a great way to tap into your inner self, and to really listen to what God is trying to tell you and what your soul is longing for or feeling. When I first started doing morning pages, it was about the beginning of 2011, and at the time, I swore I would never stop doing them because they just have therapeutic way of helping you clear your head and see the world from a clear vantage point! Well, long story short, life happens and I stopped doing writing in my mornings, among other things.

You may have also noticed that I have not been blogging very much lately. Well, I have a confession. Not only have I not been connecting with myself by writing my morning pages, I stopped doing my artist dates, my belly dancing class, all forms of exercising, and blogging! Blogging, and all of these other things are so intimate and personal, and I really was sick of spending time with myself. I have realized that I have really been suffering from not wanting to spend any quality time with myself, so I have been doing everything and anything to keep the external chatter so loud that I have not been able to hear myself think. Literally. and I have to tell you, when I realized that this is what I had been doing, I was not only surprised, but realized I needed to turn off all of the external stimuli and get in touch with me again!!! My inner child was definitely starting to throw a hissy fit wanting to just have some pj time at home, with no obligations or commitments. So…. after a weekend of sitting around in my pajamas all weekend, doing almost nothing except reading, spending quality time with my sweetie, watching movies, and crocheting like a fiend, I decided it was time to make time for me, and put my internal dialogue back into the forefront of my life again.

Jogging 2

I am recommitting to my morning pages!

I am recommitting to blogging!

I am recommitting to taking long walks to absolutely nowhere!

I am recommitting to dancing like a crazy person for no other reason that it is just absolutely fun!!

I am recommitting to singing at the top of my lungs! My neighbors deserve to have a good laugh every once in a while too!!!

and I am recommitting to listen to myself. To my inner Chrissie, and whatever it is that she needs to have heard.

I am here.

I can be quiet.

I am listening.

Jogging 3I know my inner me has something that she is just struggling to get out into the universe, and I have decided it is time to start making the actions that will help her, instead of hold her back!! So, this morning, I woke up extra early! Walked my half-asleep self into my freezing cold art studio, and wrote, wrote, wrote!!! When I was done, I hadn’t felt so free in a really, REALLY long time!! Like I had lifted the weight of the world off of my shoulders.

Jogging 4

This simple act of spending time with myself writing emboldened me to do more with my day, so I decided that as soon as I got off from work this afternoon, that I would head over to the local high school track and I would walk, walk, walk, but first I would jog a quarter of a mile. Ok, I realize that may not sound like a lot to some of you, but I am a 37 year old, former 330 pound woman, who hasn’t had serious exercise in about 6 months, this was a pretty good freaking start!!! One of my goals this year is to run a mile, and then a 5k, and eventually a 10k, but let’s not get ahead of myself!!! 😉

Jogging 5

Finally, when we did get home, I have a mountain of about 500 books that I am working on selling online, but in all honesty I had COMPLETELY overwhelmed myself with the daunting thought of

“WHERE IN THE HECK DO I EVEN BEGIN TO TACKLE THIS ONE???”

Well, I realized that if I can jog a quarter of a mile, on a whim, I certainly could post a few books online to sell, just to get the ball rolling. Well, I committed to posting 5 books, and ended up posting 12 – that really does take a lot more time than one might think that would take!!

Happy, Happy Girl!!! ;-)

Happy, Happy Girl!!! 😉

Anyway, I feel so at ease, like there is hope for tonight, hope for tomorrow. I really can do what I put my mind to if I am willing to step up to the mirror and just face it.

No more hiding.

No more wishing someone else would make it all happen for me.

Today is the day.

Now is the time.

and that realization is energizing!!!

Here is to a FABULOUS evening, not being afraid to get quiet and listen!! 😉

Signature Line

If you want to have a different life, you have to live differently!!

A Thankful Friday!

Good evening!

I am sorry I am getting around to posting so late, but I have busily, and happily “arting” as we now call my art studio time in my house!! I have made quite the mess this evening, and I am going to have to make sure it all gets cleaned up before I go to bed this evening, otherwise, I will have some difficulty doing my morning pages in the morning, if there is no room at the inn, so to speak!!

Jason is still away, camping with the guys, and I am sure that they must be having a lot of fun!! He will be back sometime tomorrow, in the meantime I am just busy toodling around then house, running errands, and “arting” my life away!! I just LOVE that!! You know, arting, as in to art!?!

Anyway, we have had some questions in my department at work about our organization structure, teams, and who is going to land where doing what. Well, this morning was the meeting where we all FINALLY found out what was going on, and to sum it up, the CIO said, that “Most everyone has had their cheese moved”, and when he put up the org chart – he wasn’t kidding!! We are almost all moved around! My team has been split and I am moving, along with two other of my teammates, to another team! Whew!! I think, after thinking about it all day, that these are going to be good changes, and no matter what happens God always puts me where he wants me!! So, I am not going to worry about it, and continue to do my best, WHEREVER THEY WANT ME!! 😉

Let’s see, what else? Oh, my morning pages! I realized this morning that I have been doing morning pages for 11 weeks!! it feels like I just started doing them yesterday! So, what that means is that week 12 is my last week in this journal, which I will have COMPLETELY FILLED UP! (one of my life list goals) YEAH!! and I will have finished going through the entire Artist’s Way program!! I have the 2nd book ready, of the 3 book series, and I have another journal already on standby for being able to continue charting my course!!

I am so absolutely lucky to have stumbled on that morning pages book on the clearance rack, and for having a sissy who so very graciously, not only sought it out, but found, purchased, and sent me a copy of the Artist Way book in the mail!!!

WOW!!

WHAT A LUCKY GIRL I AM!!! 😉

Anyway, on that note, and the fact that my puppies are ready for bed, my little fat one is on the floor snoring at my feet even as I speak!!! It is time for me to call it a night!!!

Have a FABULOUS evening!! 😉

Friday Night Wrap Up!

Good evening!

First I wanted to start out by saying…to my daddy & his wife Trudi! They have been married four happy years, today!!! I wish you both the VERY BEST!!! 😉

I love you very much!! 😉

When I was trying to decide what to write about this evening, I thought that I would just share with you that this has been a VERY GREAT week. Between my new habit of writing for an hour in my “Morning Pages” every morning, or getting brave enough to start a 3-month belly dancing class, at the size that I am, this has been a FABULOUS week of self-discovery.

I have always felt that I have had a pretty good handle on who I was, and what I wanted out of life, but the action of writing my scatter-brained-random-crazy-confusing thoughts down on paper, in my own handwriting, with no set writing rules, for an hour every morning has given me a clarity about myself that I have never experienced in all of my 35 years of living. I am starting to see things about myself that I’d always hoped would be present, and actually are, and some things that I have wanted to be present, more out of envy than true want, but will never be.

Both are ok.

Both define who I am.

I am starting to see that I am good.

And knowing who I authentically am, and who I am authentically not, is such an eye opener and the giver of true freedom.

Freedom to be me.

Without fear.

Without worry.

Without self-judgement.

That is huge for me. That might be huge for you too, I don’t know.

I took my first MAJOR step in literally stepping out of my self-imposed box, and took a belly dancing class. A belly dancing class that will last for 3 months, mind you!!  Being a 300+ pound woman, the old me would NEVER EVER have been brave enough to do that!! I was trying to talk myself into skipping the whole thing and just going home, all the way up through having to walk out of the dance studio’s restroom, after changing into my leggings and t-shirt, and I just stopped and remembered what I had already had discovered in my morning pages. I am an artist. I knew like a flash that I was not going to chicken out. For once in my adult life I was actually going to follow through with one scary thing on my life list simply because I knew it was AUTHENTICALLY ME!! I am an artist.

I am an artist.

I AM AN ARTIST!!!

I want to shout it from the rooftops!!

This is something that I have always, ALWAYS wanted, and was just too damn chicken to bring it to the forefront of my reality! I AM AN ARTIST! I get teary-eyed saying it out loud even now. I AM AN ARTIST! I ALWAYS have been, since I was as young as I can remember. Going to a belly dancing class is something that a creative person would do. When I made that mental connection then I wasn’t scared anymore. I walked out there, into the middle of all of these women – who I am sure have all of their own body issues going on, and are too focused on that, to be focusing on my body issues, stood right in front of the dance studio’s windows and I GAVE IT MY ALL AND HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE!! It was as if I had taken a deep breath for the first time since I stopped playing music almost 13 years ago.  I am an artist.

Wow! I have always been a firm believer that God has a dream for you, but not only that, but that His dream for you is WAAAAAY BIGGER than you COULD EVER IMAGINE for yourself! I don’t know what the future holds, or what more the next 11 weeks of Morning Pages is going to help me uncover about myself, but I think that this week, I got a glimpse of God’s bigger plan for me, and it just jazzes me more than I could EVER imagine!! I guess that is the point, isn’t it?

He is bigger.

He is greater.

There is a little song that we used to sing as children, and these are the words:

God is so good,
God is so good,
God is so good,
He’s so good to me.

This simple little song sums up my feelings perfectly.

Have a FABULOUS evening! 😉

A Morning of Excitement!

Good morning!

Well, I am seriously late on getting my posting out the door this morning! I have been running myself ragged trying to accomplish a bunch of stuff of my to-do list every morning, and Thursday’s are kind of hard because I have to get to work a little earlier than normal.

Tonight is my first belly dancing class. I am so scared, and nervous, and super excited all at the same time!! This is my way of challenging my bravery muscles by stepping outside of my comfort zone and doing something that I have always been super envious of others who have been ballsey enough to do – so now IT IS MY TURN!!! 😉 I couldn’t decide what to pack to wear for this evening – you should have seen me freaking out in my huge closet this morning! I have decided on a simple pair of black capris, a tank top with a fun t-shirt over the top of that. I may not be too stylin’, but at least I will be EXTREMELY comfortable!!! 😉

I finished my morning pages this morning! I am really LOVING the process of doing those! I have to get up at 5:30 in the morning to get them done, because they take me almost an hour to do. They really help clear the clutter out of my head, and help me focus on what is really important to me right now. I only started doing these pages on Saturday, and in the few short days I have started doing them, I have really learned A LOT about myself that I WAS COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS too!! How does that happen??? I have lived with myself for 35 years, and apparently I am just meeting myself for the very first time!! 😉 

The morning pages process comes from the book The Artist’s Way. I have the morning pages journal which doesn’t have too much from the original book, but it basically skims the surface on how to tap into your inner artist. When I first found the book, I couldn’t afford it, but my Sis, Alex told me that she has found it for me for only $8 and will be sending it up my way! I CAN NOT WAIT TO GET MY HANDS ON IT AND START READING!!! I LOVE it!!! Thank you, Sissy!!! You are THE BEST!!! 

Anyway, I had better get back to the business of living life! It will be late, but I will try to post at least SOMETHING this evening about my class tonight!! I can’t wait! I really just am SO STOKED!!! 

Have a FABULOUS day!! 😉
~Christina