Tag Archives: Changes

I am SOOOOOO Ready!!

Trees silhouettes against gradient colored sky

Okay, so I see it has been since 9/15 that I have last posted, which is an insane amount of time, but I have to stop and just let you know a little bit about what has been going on in our lives.

Oh man, there is just so much…I am not even sure I know where to start.

For those of you who have been following my life, you would know that my hubby and I moved to Portland, Oregon last December (exactly 1 year 18 days ago!) Anyway, I had this crazily insane idea that if I moved to Portland, that somehow the city would rub off on me and I would then be a bonafied artist.

I see that in writing and I think, I must’ve been insane to have thought that a city could make me be something that I already am!

Anyway, let’s just say that THAT is not what happened. You see, Portland is very expensive to live in, so my hubby and started working overtime to pay for all of these AMAZING things that we would do, now that we were officially Portlanders!

My job got really stressful and pressure-filled, plus I’ve been working on east coast time, which meant that I was missing all of this amazing Portland nightlife that I kept hearing about, because mama needed to make sure sleep was a priority, or she was going to crash and burn.

On top of all of that, we had a few major medical emergencies happen this year, the biggest of which is that we almost lost our sweet Liam boy not once, but twice…and…let’s just say that even though he is doing better, thank God…it has been a very difficult and trying year.

Back in September, when I wrote Spiraling, Spiraling, I was at what I thought was my rock bottom.

Well, the universe had other things in mind (AKA mama had some more lessons that I needed to learn).

In October, my husband fell through some scaffolding, which resulted in him tearing all of the muscles from his right shoulder, requiring surgery to fix. According to his surgeon, his surgery was one of the worst tears he had seen, actually needing to full surgeries in one sitting to fix, but everything went, as the surgeon described it, “best case scenario”. Even though the surgery went better than hoped, it wiped us out financially, at least for a few months.

If I thought the year was hard before, this accident really knocked us for a loop, because now I was literally alone in all household chores, cooking, taking care of our puppies, packing for our move (more on that later), caring for my sweetie through a really painful healing process, and my work life was just getting harder and harder, being micromanaged to the nth degree by someone who honestly just didn’t know me enough to trust me or my work.

I felt like I was being attacked on all fronts.

Well, if you know me, you know that I do not like to be stuck for long, so some BIG decisions were made!

This is what I MOST EXCITED to share with you..

Oh man… okay, so I am just going to tell you, because in all honestly I am a little afraid of sounding like a crazy person, but since my hubby is supporting me in my brand of crazy then, that’s enough, right???

Changes:

I am leaving my job, at the end of this month
My hubby and I are going through the process of going through all of our belongings, packing up only what we must, and putting all of that into a small storage unit
We have purchased a brand new travel trailer (AKA an apartment on wheels)
We are moving out of Portland, and moving out on to my sis-in-law’s property, while my hubby takes the next 6 months to heal and go through some serious physical therapy
Sometime during all of that, we are going to refinish the remodel of our condo, and sell it, so that we can pay off as much of the rest of our debt as possible (that surgery was REALLY expensive), but it is so close to complete, that I am really excited about it!
When all is said and done, my sweetie and I are going to use the next year, living in our cute little trailer, simplifying every single aspect of our lives, and we are going to travel the Oregon coast, living any where we choose.

The main goal for this next year, is to simplify and figure out what it is really want for the next 10, 20, 30 years of our life. It is all going by so fast, that if we don’t start living it on purpose, and not on autopilot, we are going to seriously be sorry when our time runs out.

Regret is NOT an option!

So there you have it!

I know that I have been MIA for a while, and I do apologize for that. I do have a new plan, with the new year, so please be patient as we finish this crazy busy transition (oh, and did I mention that Christmas is happening in the middle of all of this????). Anyway, I know the best, THE VERY BEST is yet to come!!

Great big hugs to all of you who took the time to stop by to read my little blog!

with the utmost of sincerity, and light, and goodness,

Don’t Mind Me!

Good evening!
Don’t mind me! I am just making some appearance changes to my blog! I am hoping that these changes will make This Beautiful Life a more pleasant place to visit! You might notice a new layout, simplified sidebar, and a new header and I now have a new Chrissie B. Signature line. I will be working on updating all of my pages next! 🙂

If you have any questions, or comments, please feel free to let me know in the comment section! I will do my best to respond in a timely manner!

Thank you for your patience!! 🙂

If you want to have a different life, live differently!

Jumping Back In!

Good afternoon!

There has been so much that has happened between when I last posted, and today, that I am a little bit overwhelmed with where to begin, so I just thought I would take a deep breathe and just jump back in!

As previously promised, big, BIG changes have been going on around in my world!!

The summed up version…well… I have left my job, hopped into the world of consulting, and in July am preparing to leave my field of work in it’s entirety!

YEAH!!!

and OMG! What the heck are you doing you crazy person???

At least that is what my inner critic is saying to myself!

Listen you! I have got important work to do, so back off!!

Whew! Now I feel better! 😉

Well, last time we spoke was in February. Since then:

My sweetie and I have gotten ourselves out of debt.
I went to Brave Girls Camp, which deserves a post all on its own.
I have left my job that I had been at for almost 14 years
I started a consulting job that requires me to commute almost 5 hours every day but pays more than I ever dreamed possible
My sweetie is happily, and very successfully, if I might add, helping his brother grow his home remodeling business
I am in love with that man of mine more now than I thought was humanly possible – I think we have hit the bliss stage of marriage
I have gained almost 20 pounds since starting this job, 2 months ago (didn’t know that was possible), which is about 35 pounds more than my lowest weight, which means mama’s got some serious work to do
I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and will be able to start putting my own wants and needs back on my radar again; and that has been a long, loooong time coming!! 😉

My official plan right now is that after, July3 (my last day as a consultant), I am taking one entire month off!

No guilt!

No obligations!

No shame!

No blame!

This will be my time to get to know me again.

What do I really want?

No, I mean, what do I really, REALLY want?

How much sleep do I need to feel awake?

Which foods agree with me and which don’t?

What do I really, REALLY want to be when I grow up?

Do I want to go back to school?

Do I want to be an artist? If so, what does that look like?

Is now the time to start my business? What would that look like?

The list goes on and on and on and on and…well, you get the idea!

This is such a luxury to be able to take this break, and I truly feel blessed to finally be in a situation where this is possible. After that month off? I am not exactly sure what is going to happen, I am just going to be playing life by ear.

My purpose is to find my joy and then get out there and go live it!!

My husband and I have agreed that I will be taking a 6 month to 1 year sabbatical from a “J-O-B”, which isn’t to say that I am not going to be working, but it is not going to be a typical 9 to 5.

What am I looking for?

Joy

Vitality

Creativity every day

Authenticity in the work that I am doing

Freedom to do what I want, when I want, how I want

Opportunities to work with dynamic and creative women who inspire me

Beauty all around me as a habit

Peace

Work/Life balance

A sense of contribution

A sense that I am know, that I am loved, and that I matter!!!

That’s not too much to ask for, is it?? 🙂

I know it will be a lot of hard work, but I am certain that I am well on my way! I can feel it down to my very core of who I am.

This is all going to be a very good thing!!!

Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated!!! 🙂

Here is to a FABULOUS day! 🙂

If you want to have a different life, you have to live differently!!

Is This What Crazy Feels Like?

Good morning!

I told myself, when I decided to start this new blog, that the only way that this would be beneficial to anyone, including me, is if I agreed to be 100% totally honest, and use my absolute authentic voice. No more “everything-is-perfect-all smiles-all-the-time” blog posts for me! So here goes nothing…be brave…be brave…you can do it…

This morning I awoke from a really bad dream, my second in two nights. It was one of those dreams that leaves you shaken to the core, because unlike the nightmare from two nights ago, which was obviously caused by stress going on in my work life, this one hit too close to home. I watched one of my younger sisters fall to her death. UGH!!! Ok! Now, I know it was just a bad dream, and I am sure my lil’ sis is just fine, cozily snuggled up in her bed, fast asleep, but this dream may have been the final straw in my realization that my inner child’s needs are not being taken care of!

You, see there are a lot of areas of my life that I have been settling for second best, or even completely ignoring for far too long; areas like my work, health, finances, fitness, friendships, contribution to my community, commitment to my personal growth, and even my free-time and play has been suffering! And because I have not been honoring my authentic self in quite a while, my inner Chrissie is starting to throw a tantrum! You know the kind of tantrum I’m talking about? The kind that we’ve all seen kids throw, on the floor in the middle of a busy grocery store aisle, the kind where mothers of the offending child embarrassingly and yet innocently turn around and say, “Who’s child is this????”, as if it couldn’t possibly be theirs!! 🙂

I am learning that my inner Chrissie has a tendency to throw her own tantrums when she doesn’t get enough attention!

I can’t possibly be the only one who has ever experienced this, can she???

To top that off, there is a long history of mental illness in my family, and my biggest fear in life – and I mean bigger than my fear of being abandoned, or even my bigger fear of spiders (and anyone who knows me knows that THAT IS HUGE!!!!), my biggest fear is that somewhere along the path, that is my life, I am going to run right smack into mental illness, like it was just waiting all these years for just the right moment to strike, like a cold germ that was just waiting to be caught. This morning, after I awoke very shakily from my nightmare, my first thought was…

Is this what going crazy feels like????

I told my uber-sweet and ever supportive husband, “I think I am having a nervous breakdown”, and, without missing a beat, which was shocking because he was still half asleep, he reached out to hold my hand and very lovingly told me, ‘Well, you better get it over with quickly.” He was so serious, and yet so cute when he said it, I couldn’t help but laugh. “Thanks, love!” 😉

I know he meant it in the nicest way possible, but what he was really saying was we don’t have time in our schedules for your to be having a nervous breakdown right now, so please, get it over with quickly enough so that we can get you out of the house and to the office on time! LOL! 😉

As I am sitting here, in bed, typing this (yes, I know a laptop in bed is not good bed etiquette, but desperate times calls for desperate measures!) I can’t help thinking, “Ok, little Chrissie, I hear you, how can I get you to happy so we can sleep with sweet dreams again?”

The answer to this question is why I am here. That is why I created Beautiful Creatives AKA This Beautiful Life. My goal in this journey is that I can help myself, and in turn possibly help others get unstuck in their lives, and get from where they may find themselves, unhappy, unhealthy, unfulfilled, un-whatever (I’m just talking from my own experiences here), and get to where their souls are longing to be – mine included! I have a girlfriend who is a psychology professor, and she likes to say that you become what it is you need in your life, and right now, that is what I am hoping to do. I need a life coach, a mentor, a cheerleader, someone to hold my hand as I walk through this journey that is called life, I need resources for time management, stress reduction, overall getting-my-crap-together-ness. I want to use my personal experiences to help motivate and inspire others to stretch out, baby step by baby step and live life on purpose and to live life both deeply and widely! We were never meant to be one-dimensional beings!

I am not exactly sure what all this is going to look like, but I am going to keep my eyes, ears, and heart open and see what comes my way!! I hope you will join me, and I look forward to sharing more of my life with you, and creating a fun, and beautiful sisterhood of love, support, and encouragement!

Here is to living beautifully!

~Christina 😉

The Times They Are A-Changin’!

Good evening!

My life is getting a little bit complicated. Ok, that might be an understatement. I guess this is what happens when you are trying to live your life a little differently! You can’t turn your life’s ship without making some new waves!!!

I am not going to go into any details, but there are some things in my life right now that are changing that are changing quickly and are completely out of my control.

Someone once told me that you should do the thing that you know you should do, but was scared to death to do, do it anyway and do it in faith. Those are the moments where God can perform great miracles in your favor!

I have seen it many times, and I depending on the fact that this is one of these moments for me. It is these moments that I have to just hang in there and have faith that God is going to guide me through to the other side of all of these changes.

I am blessed.

With that mantra running through my mind over and over this evening, I am going to go take care of myself by getting into bed early this evening

I hope you have a FABULOUS evening!!! ;-)

“If you want to have a different life, you have to live differently!”

Starting a Revolution!

Good morning!

I woke up in a great mood this morning. I am not sure if that is because I am on day two of my four-day weekend, or if it might be because I had such a good day getting my house back in order yesterday that now I am ready to get out and conquer the world!! 😉

You know I have been using the phrase “If you want a different life, you have to live differently” as my daily matra, and it has really got me questioning how and why I do everything.

Why do I have so much stuff?

Why do I spend so much time watching television?

Why am I not arting?

Why aren’t I doing the things that I know I need to be doing?

Why am I not living in the city I want to be living in?

Why am I not working towards my dream career?

Why am I not happy?

In asking myself all of these questions, I am quickly realizing that all of this is because of the choices I am making in my daily life. Not even just the big choices, but all of the small, seemingly insignificant choices as well. They are taking me down the path that is called my life, but unfortunately right now, I have been letting those things take me down this path while I have been numbingly on autopilot. It has just seemed safer that way. Safer, but not better.

When I was a teenager I used to walk everywhere, and I really mean EVERYWHERE!!! I had filled out a questionnaire while I had worked for this small Risk Management office, and it asked how much walking do you do on a daily basis, and I remember answering something like 4 hours a day! and if I remember correctly, that was a CONSERVATIVE guess!! I walked to school every morning, then downtown to work after school, then to my boyfriend’s place, then back to school for practice in the evening, which had another two hours of walking a couple of times a week.

No wonder I had so much energy!!!

I was like the energizer bunny, and although I am about double the age I was then, I wonder what would happen if I started walking out of the need to get from one place to another again? Would it start a revolution? Would the masses rebel? Ok, so I don’t really have “masses”, but I wonder what my sweetie would think? Would he think that I have lost my mind? or would this just seem like another “Chrissy Transformation” that he has come so used to expecting from me over the years??

What if I were to completely remove the television from our living room?

Would we spend more quality time together?

Would we do more outings?

Would it make us happier?

Would we be bored out of our minds?

Are we those people???

Or is it me? Am I THAT person?

The answer to that scares me, because I know that I AM!!

I watch the world go by.

It seems safer that way.

Sadder, but safer.

I know that it doesn’t have to be this way, I am starting a revolution!! I am taking my life back! No longer do I want to play it safe, sitting on the sidelines watching as others live, laugh, and love! I WANT THAT FOR ME! I WANT THAT FOR US! I WANT THAT FOR MY FAMILY!!!! 😉

So, I am going to take it!! We only get this one life, and if I don’t start now, then WHEN??? So, today, right now is as good a time as any!!! My sweetie is going to take me to my old High School so that I can walk from there to downtown, just to see how far it is/how long that will take me, and I will meet up with him there. Then we are going down to the University so that I can FINALLY take pictures of their gorgeous historical buildings (I have lived in this city on and off for the past 24 years afterall!!!) that I have ALWAYS wanted to take!

I am a loooong way from the girl I used to be, but if I can borrow some of her abundance of joy, my life’s happiness would improve drastically!!! Wish me luck!!

Here’s to a FABULOUS day!!

“If you want to have a different life, live differently!”

Randomness Tuesday!

Good evening!

I thought I would share with you some random thoughts on this randomness Tuesday!

I woke up this morning, with my first alarm, which is not something I have a tendency to do. I usually let the first alarm wake me up, but the second one, that goes off a half an hour later is the one that says, “Ok, you have been lazing around in bed long enough – get up!!” Well, today I got up with the first one. You see, I had this thought that was running over and over through my mind, and it was saying:

“If you want a different life, live differently.”

Simple, sweet, and powerfully true!!

This was a message that apparently my subconscious thought I needed to hear, and my conscious self has been taking it to heart all day today!!

So, I got up with the first alarm, because it was different then I normally do, hopped in the shower first thing, and I was ready, having eaten a healthy breakfast and all, and I got to work a little over half an hour earlier than normal. I concentrated on staying focused at work, and trying to find the very little things to do better than I normally do. It made for a pretty good day! I even got a 15 minute walk in, which may not sound impressive, but when you sit confined like veal in a small cubicle all day, every day, a 15 minute walk, out in nature, with one of my girlfriends really means a lot!!

Anyway, after work today, I knew I had to head over to Nordstroms to pick up some more of my facial products, which I did, and then I picked up two eye shadows that the old me would not have tried before!!

Jason sent my camera off to Texas to be fixed or replaced. I don’t care which as long as my baby returns to me in one piece and in working order!!! I really miss taking pictures!!!

Tonight would have been a great time to have my camera, because in my quest to have a different life by living differently, when my sweetie called me while at work and asked if we could have a spontaneous dinner, I jumped at the chance. I am sooo glad that I did!! Dinner was delicious, and I haven’t had a chance to hang out with my sis, Nette and her kids in AGES!! Megan had basketball practice tonight, and she asked me if I could go watch, normally I would have made excuses, because I knew that my to-do list for this evening was just so long, but again, if I want a different life, I have to live differently. So, you guessed it, I agreed to go with her and Nette to her practice. Nette is one of her coaches. It was so much fun to watch Megan!! She is really growing up so fast, and she is such a girly-girl, and yet still such a sporty girl that she is such a hoot!!! I really love her so much, and sometimes I feel like I am missing all of these special moments with the kiddos, so I am really so thankful for my new attitude about living!! AND I can’t wait to have my camera back because I would have had SOOOO MANY GREAT pics of the girls practicing!!!

I am finally home for the evening, a little later than I had expected, but feeling really blessed! I still have a little time to get a couple of chores crossed off of the to-do list before I crawl into bed early this evening and get some reading done before bed!!

What a good life. I am very thankful for new beginnings. I know it is still early, but it is looking like 2012 is really going to be a GREAT year!!! 😉

Have a FABULOUS evening! :-)

A Confession & The Night Off!

Good evening!

I have a confession to make! I am tired, I have no idea what to talk about tonight, and I don’t wanna blog tonight!!

PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE FELT THAT WAY BEFORE!!!

Man, I really am sooo pooped!! (What an AWFUL expression!)

Work has been extremely stressful, and I am just trying to get as much work as I can humanly do, before the “big news” happens on Friday – I don’t know what that big news is yet, but I will share when I find out!!! Not that I don’t have some kind of idea in my own head about what it can be, but I will feel more comfortable telling after the official news has been announced – IF it is ANYTHING like what I am thinking it will be!!

So, I am not going to post much, but what I will tell you that my official plan for tonight is to close up shop, climb into my jammies, snuggle with my sweetie, while reading a REALLY good book!! Who knows, maybe I will actually let myself fall to sleep early! NOW THAT sounds like a REALLY DIVINE idea!! 😉

I will make sure to be back to peppy self tomorrow, and I will try and plan on having some new pictures taken while I am on my solo artist day tomorrow evening!!

Until then…

Have a FABULOUS evening!! 😉

Saturday of Decisions

I am not sure what to blog today, and I am not sure how long my PC is going to cooperate with me (I think it is on it’s last leg!), and I am a little blue this afternoon.

But…I guess the best place to start is that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE my family! I live for them. Some of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE people are family members. I am learning that there is a time and a place for every thing and every thing and every place has a time. So when my sis came over and told me that she had made the decision to move back to AZ with her kiddos, I was really, REALLY torn. Happy and sad, both at the same time. I really want her to be happy. Really, REALLY HAPPY!!! Having her here has brought such joy, and optimism into my life. She is like home. I am sooo HAPPY that she is making the right decisions for herself – she is worth taking care of!! But, I must confess, I will miss her TERRIBLY!! It makes me want to move out of Salem too. I feel like this is a sad, lonely, and closed minded town. Maybe changes are coming for us too???

The show I am watching mentions decisions like this:

“People don’t seem happy where they are, they are looking for something better. The grass is always greener on the other side. ”

My thou ghts are, sometimes you may have to plant your own grass! 😉

It goes on to say:

“Frogs symbolize new life, new transformation. The journey from tadpole to frog. That is what any of our life’s decisions are all about, trying to make sure that we don’t die as a tadpole, we want to become full-fledged frogs!”

LOL!!! Thanks, I needed that!!! I may have to get out my book, Who Moved My Cheese?.

Oh, and hey – I LOVE YOU, ALEX!!!!

Have a FABULOUS evening!! 😉