Me at 4, and not a care in the world!
Good evening!
I wanted to talk about something that has been on my mind for the past few months, and that is about honoring your inner child, or at least my perspective on my inner child and my reconciliation with the idea that I need to honor her. Maybe you might be able to relate. In September 2012, I had gastric bypass surgery, but through my profound weight loss journey, and ultimately my profound self-rediscovery journey started back in April of that same year, and I started to seriously struggle with the question
“Who am I?”
After doing a lot of soul searching I had decided that I knew who I was, I had always been in here, even if I had been keeping the truest form of myself tucked deep, deep down inside of myself for quite some time. To re-discover who I was, I just needed to delve back into my long lost memories about who I was as a small child. Still fresh and impressionable,with no responsibilities or obligations, and not yet tainted by other peoples’ self-imposed rules, beliefs, and limitations.
Here I am with my mom, grandma, dad, and great-grandma. This is my first outing.
I am not sure if everyone can remember a clean and pure memory of who you were back then, but for me I remember being a very imaginative child, who could play for hours alone, make believing all sorts of adventures where I was the main character in all of my stories. I could run, and jump, and fly, and breathe under water, I was invincible, and completely fearless! When I was at this age, I had friends, but never very many, I usually preferred to be alone or with one or two very close friends; catching bees in jars while smelling the sweet scent of honeysuckles all around, laying on my back watching the clouds roll by – trying to find shapes amongst the billowy whiteness, climbing trees and viewing the world from my new vantage point, racing around on my bike with the sound of the wind racing past my ears, or walking barefoot through the grass enjoying the feel of the coolness on my toes. I was a very observant child, and I felt like the world was my oyster, and I was ready to do whatever, and be whatever my heart could imagine.
Looking back, I can see that as I got older I let more and more of what other people believed influence who I let myself be. I tried to change everything about myself to fit in. I tried to be more social and more group-oriented. I tried to keep up with my peers in style, and attitudes, and in accomplishments, and I can see how I had ended up as a woman with so many hang ups, and really ultimately unhappy, not to mention 130 pounds overweight!
Me with my Mom, she was only 16, I was one month old.
No wonder I was confused about who I was. Was it possibly because I had tucked away little Chrissie with a complete disregard to what her needs might be? I was afraid that she could not possibly be accepted or loved, and because of this I let myself be conformed to what I thought people would be drawn to, so that I could fit in, and be “normal”, whatever that is?
As soon as I made this connection, I had the ultimate light-bulb moment! I realized that I may look different, sound different then I did when I was a little girl, and I don’t really climb too many trees nowadays, but the deepest parts of me were still essentially the same. I still feel the need to be alone a lot of the time, I still prefer having only a very small handful of close intimate friendships, I still relish my time spent in my imagination, and I still cherish the times that I get to spend having my own brief adventures.
And you know what? That is okay. I have come to terms that this is who I am, the me that was designed, on purpose, to be just this way, and it is my job to honor that and to live it up! 😉
I am the one in red. I am 5.
Little Chrissie is still hanging out inside of this woman who can sometimes have what feels like the weight of the world on her shoulders in obligations and responsibilities, but little Chrissie is still patiently waiting to be given permission to come out and play, and if I don’t let her come out and play often enough she gets very cranky and we both end up having a bad day! 🙂
Do you ever feel this way?
So, ask yourself these questions about your inner child:
- What did they like to do?
- What games did they like to play?
- What adventures did they like to have?
- Who did they like to hang out with?
- Can grown-up you relate to any of their hopes, dreams, and desires any longer.
- Is little he or she still in there begging to come out and play?
- If so, what is one activity you can do this week to let that happen?
- When was the last time you let little him/her come out to play
My Take Action Challenge for you this week is to:
Get reacquainted with your inner child, honor that little part of yourself, and make some time for your inner child to come out and play! Blow some bubbles, read a fun book just for the hell of it, climb a tree, play kickball, whatever!!
PLAY! PLAY! PLAY!!
You are worth it, and little you is soooo worth it too!
I smile as I write this this evening, thinking what all the possible playful activities might be going on this week!
Please let me know in the comments section, what activities you will commit to taking this week with your inner child!!
Have a FABULOUS and PLAYFUL evening!! 😉
If you want to have a different life, you have to live differently!!
