Category Archives: Plus-sized

Not Always Sunny!

Good evening!

I have found a copy of the transcript of Steve Job’s Commencement Speech at Stanford, I know it is long, but I am absolutely addicted to what Steve says here! It is making me seriously reconsider some things…

Where is my life heading?
What is my purpose?
Why am I here?
How can I make the world a better place?
How can I change someone’s life for the better?

Instead of trying to translate his words, I thought I would just share the actual commencement transcript with you. I would love to hear your thoughts on his words!

“Thank you. I’m honored to be with you today for your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. Truth be told, I never graduated from college and this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation.

Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories. The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first six months but then stayed around as a drop-in for another eighteen months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife, except that when I popped out, they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking, “We’ve got an unexpected baby boy. Do you want him?” They said, “Of course.” My biological mother found out later that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would go to college.

This was the start in my life. And seventeen years later, I did go to college, but I naΓ―vely chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and no idea of how college was going to help me figure it out, and here I was, spending all the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out, I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me and begin dropping in on the ones that looked far more interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms. I returned Coke bottles for the five-cent deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the seven miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example.

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer was beautifully hand-calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and sans-serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me, and we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts, and since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them.

If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on that calligraphy class and personals computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do.

Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards, so you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something–your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever–because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path, and that will make all the difference.

My second story is about love and loss. I was lucky. I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents’ garage when I was twenty. We worked hard and in ten years, Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4,000 employees. We’d just released our finest creation, the Macintosh, a year earlier, and I’d just turned thirty, and then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew, we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so, things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge, and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our board of directors sided with him, and so at thirty, I was out, and very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down, that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure and I even thought about running away from the Valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me. I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I’d been rejected but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods in my life. During the next five years I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the world’s first computer-animated feature film, “Toy Story,” and is now the most successful animation studio in the world.

In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT and I returned to Apple and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance, and Lorene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful-tasting medicine but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life’s going to hit you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love, and that is as true for work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work, and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking, and don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it, and like any great relationship it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death. When I was 17 I read a quote that went something like “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself, “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “no” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important thing I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life, because almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctors’ code for “prepare to die.” It means to try and tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next ten years to tell them, in just a few months. It means to make sure that everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope, the doctor started crying, because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and, thankfully, I am fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept. No one wants to die, even people who want to go to Heaven don’t want to die to get there, and yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It’s life’s change agent; it clears out the old to make way for the new. right now, the new is you. But someday, not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it’s quite true. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalogue, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stuart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late Sixties, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and Polaroid cameras. it was sort of like Google in paperback form thirty-five years before Google came along. I was idealistic, overflowing with neat tools and great notions. Stuart and his team put out several issues of the The Whole Earth Catalogue, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-Seventies and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath were the words, “Stay hungry, stay foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. “Stay hungry, stay foolish.” And I have always wished that for myself, and now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you. Stay hungry, stay foolish.

Thank you all, very much.”

Have a FABULOUS evening!!! ;-)

Chunky Dunker’s Night!

Good evening!

Chunky Dunkers is a weekly weight loss/get fit support group that meet here online every Wednesday evening to get the opportunity to comment, and cheer each other as you each go through your journey to get fit and healthy!!! We will discuss hints, tips, and ideas on losing weight, staying motivated, and achieving your fitness goals, whether that is to lose 5 pounds, to do 10 sit-ups, or just incorporate some healthy habits into your daily life!!

As always, everyone and anyone is welcome to join us, or you may feel free to just quietly follow along. I look forward to hearing about all of your successes!

Let me give you a quick progress of my week! I have lost the pound and a half that I had put on last week – YEAH!! It is amazing how that small number seems to make such a big difference in how I feel about what I am doing. Besides walking, and one night of swimming, I really haven’t done much of my regualr exercise routines! I skipped belly dancing and Zumba so far this week. I have been nursing some knee pain, and then twisted my ankle so am working through that! Jason has been doing a great job at cooking some really delicious and healthy food! It has made our week of healthy eating much easier!!

Anyway, the topic for conversation this evening:

What 5 things would you do if you knew that you could not fail???

Give that some thought, I can’t wait to hear from you in the comments section above!!

Have a FABULOUS evening!! πŸ˜‰

Chunky Dunker’s Night!

Good evening!

Tonight is Chunky Dunker night, and I have been looking forward to this night all week!! I post a new Chunky Dunker’s post every Wednesday evening, and you will have the opportunity to comment, and cheer each other as you each go through your journey to get fit and healthy!!! We will discuss hints, tips, and ideas on losing weight, staying motivated, and achieving your fitness goals, whether that is to lose 5 pounds, to do 10 sit-ups, or just incorporate some healthy habits into your daily life!!

I am happy to report that I have been working out, eating MOSTLY healthy, drinking my water, and am working on getting my sleeping back in check again! I did hit a small patch of roughness today, when I had a pretty stressful day at work, so I had asked my sweetie to make me some comfort food this evening, but IT WAS SO WORTH IT!!! Yum! πŸ˜‰

I am just plugging along on my posts, and I even have an idea on putting up some random tutorials on how to do all different kinds of things like beauty, fashion, gardening, decorating, and other miscellaneous hints to help you, and me, turn your house into a home! I would love to hear your thoughts on that, in the comments section above!!

Anyway, let’s get this show on the road, and I will see you in the comments section for Chunky Dunker’s night!!

Have a FABULOUS evening!! πŸ˜‰

 

 

Gotta Dance!

Good evening!

I have gotten home from my belly dancing class this evening, and I am still really jazzed!! I have to tell you, it is such a happy class! It is hard for me to go there and not have an absolutely great time!! I know you must be sick of hearing me say it EVERY SINGLE WEEK, but I just LOVE BELLY DANCING!! and you know what, I think it isn’t just belly dancing anymore, I think I just love to dance!!!

Who knew??

I have never been a terribly physical person, I have always excelled at things that involve your mind, and thinking, or a talent like music, or the arts. Dance, which yes, I realize is also an art, I had just never thought it was something that was ever going to be in my repertoire, and I SO LOVE IT!!

Dancing has literally changed me.

It changes the way I see myself.

It changes the way I think about the future and what I now think is possible as opposed to what limitations I had previously placed on myself!

For the first time in my life, and I mean EVER, my inside and outside are starting to become more congruent!! They both are finally HAPPY!! I mean truly, unadulterated, no facade H-A-P-P-Y!!!

I wish that I had the opportunity to provide every single person out there to have this euphoric feeling that I am feeling now. I am convinced, now more than ever, that this feeling is the feeling of joy that is placed upon you when you are doing ANYTHING that honors your authentic self!! For me, right now, that is dancing, for you that might be cooking, singing, drawing, writing, sewing, walking, or whatever!!

My challenge to you this evening and for the rest of the week is to get out there and find an activity, ANY ACTIVITY that honors who you are on the inside – the best of who you are capable of being, and if you feel like sharing, please fee free to let me know in the comment section what that activity might be for you! You’ll never know who might come along and read what you have written – you just might inspire someone to get out there and find THERE OWN PERSONAL activity too!!

I look forward to chatting with you some more tomorrow! Until then…

Have a FABULOUS evening! πŸ˜‰

Welcome Back Chunky Dunkers!

Good evening!

You remember Chunky Dunker’s, right? Well, tonight, we are going to get back into the habit of supporting each other on a weekly basis.

Re-starting now, I will post a new Chunky Dunker’s article ever Wednesday evening, and you will have the opportunity to comment, and cheer each other as you each go through your journey to get fit and healthy!!! We will discuss hints, tips, and ideas on losing weight, staying motivated, and achieving your fitness goals, whether that is to lose 5 pounds, to do 10 sit-ups, or just incorporate some healthy habits into your daily life!!

An update for how things are going for me…well…Life is going pretty darn good. I am doing a couple of dance classes every Monday, Zumba twiceΒ  week, and fitting in walks and swimming sessions wherever I can. I am tracking my food daily on the Livestrong website, which seems to help keep me on the straight and narrow nutrition-wise. I haven’t lost any weight, but I have lost inches, so that is good! Right??

Anyway, I am excited to get this posted and hear how everyone is doing this evening – it has been too long! So, I will meet you in the comments section!! πŸ˜‰

Have a FABULOUS evening!! ;-)

Happy! Happy! Happy!

Good evening!

I just got home, and I just found myself sitting in the quiet of my living room, zoning! I am so absolutely tired, and and soooo absolutely HAPPY! I had my first Zumba class today, and I have to tell you – IT IS SOOOO MUCH HARDER THAN MY BELLY DANCING CLASS!! Or I might be saying that just because I did do two hours of belly dancing last night, and I must confess, today I was still a little sore. Now, after doing my Zumba class, my sweetie might as well just wheel my sorry booty up the stairs and chuck me into bed, because I am

T-I-R-E-D!!!

Tired, but very happy!! I love getting to know what this body of mine can and cannot do! I am literally in awe of the fact that if I consistently do something, I will get better at it, and it will get easier!

WHAT A NOVEL CONCEPT!! πŸ˜‰

OK, so back to my Zumba class.Β  The class was fun. We were in a gigantic conference room at the hospital and there were 15 of us, not including the instructor. She had provided belly dancing coin skirts for everyone to wear, so we could have fun jangling with the music – I thought that was funny!! πŸ˜‰ The music was AMAZING!! There were some modern pieces as well as some upbeat Latin pieces, but everything was happy music!! Which was good because we were all having fun sweating, giggling, and dancing like maniacs!!! The dance moves were a mix between belly dancing, Latin steps, and pop – CRAZY FUN!!! The only time the class wasn’t fun was when our instructor sneakily threw in a song that was just for squatting, and then another song that was just for balancing on one foot, and one song just for doing situps, plank, and a ab-crunching Pilates move! OUCH!!! Let me just tell you, I am just so thankful that I don’t have to do that again until Thursday!! I have a day to recoup, and honey, let me tell, you I need it!! πŸ˜‰

Well, I know this sounds crazy, but I am going to go swimming with my sweetie before bed tonight, so until tomorrow…

Have a FABULOUS evening!! πŸ˜‰

PS. Chunky Dunkers, we are SO ON for tomorrow night!! I will meet you here!! πŸ˜‰

A Gorgeous Day!

Good evening!

It has been an absolutely gorgeous day here in Oregon. It was a bit on the toasty side today, but I just got back fromΒ  nice long swim in our chilly pool, which was absolutely refreshing, and we have air conditioning in our little place, so I think I should be able to nod off to sleep quite nicely this evening. It also probably helps that I am beyond tired, from having so much fun with my sister, Jennifer, while she is still in town.

Her and her husband, Austin, are only in town in until tomorrow, at which time they will return home! I have tried, for years to talk them into moving here, but Salem is just too big for them, which is ironic because it is just too small for us!! πŸ˜‰ Anyway, we have squeezed in some quality time after work this evening, going to their favorite place in Salem to eat, and that is at Mongolian Grill. They make it a point to eat there at least once during every visit, and this time was no different. πŸ˜‰

I must interject here, I have been part of a support group called Chunky Dunkers. This is basically a get healthy & fit support group that I started with the help of my sisters, Alex, Jennifer, oh, and I can’t forget my sweetie, Jason. Well, Alex has lost almost 60 pounds, and Jennifer has lost almost 40. I am soooo ABSOLUTELY PROUD OF BOTH OF THEM (and a little jealous, if truth be told), and it has caused me to have a feeling of a renewed sense of,

“Ok girl, you have got to get your butt into gear and make this happen for yourself!!”

So, I have eaten extra fruits and veggies today, avoided all calorie-laden drinks, and tracked all of my food that I have eaten, walked the stairs at work, and even got an extra half an hour of vigorous swimming in this evening! Whew!!! Only one day down, and possibly hundreds more to go, which is ok, seeing that it took me literally 16 years to get to the size that I am. I have never really been overly self-conscious of the weight, but I am noticing that the older I am getting the more aches and pains in my joints I am getting, and I am just TOO YOUNG to feel this DAMN OLD!! πŸ˜‰ So, instead of just pissing and moaning about it, I am going to step up to the plate and take some action – little, by little – baby steps!!

If any of you reading have any hints/tips/ideas/yummy recipe ideas, or even just some motivational support for me and my get fit actions, I would be more than happy to hear from you. Please leave me a message in the comment section above!

Thank you SOOOO MUCH, in advance!!

With that said, I am going to head off to bed for the evening!

Have a FABULOUS evening!! πŸ˜‰

P.S. These pictures were taken in my mom, Linda’s, garden. Aren’t they just lovely? Thanks, Mom!! πŸ˜‰

I Feel Pretty!!

Good evening!

I had such an excellent evening!! I always am soooo JAZZED after belly dancing class!! and guess what????

WE DANCE WITH VEILS TONIGHT!!!! πŸ˜‰

That made me feel like a bug-a-jillion dollars!!!!!

Who knew that you could actually get toned and fit while twirling, and spinning, and flipping, and making butterfly shapes out of your veil!!!

SO

MUCH

FREAKIN’

FUN!!!!

Seriously, how could I NOT have discovered belly dancing before??? What else could I have been missing out on because I was a big ol’ chicken!?!?!?! Our instructor, Jody, did a full veil dance for us at the end of class, and it was soooo SENSUAL and MESMERIZING!!! You literally couldn’t take your eyes off of her!!

THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO DO!!!!

I aspire to dance like my dance instructor when I grow up!!!

Can you imagine??? I don’t care, if God didn’t want me to dance, he wouldn’t have put a song in my heart, dang-it!!! πŸ˜‰

I LOVE dancing!! I know that I will be one of those women who will be doing it for THE REST OF HER LIFE!!!

As I go off to bed, and join my dancing dreams in la-la-land, twirling, and smiling like a FABULOUSLY crazy person…

Have a FABULOUS evening!! πŸ˜‰

Note to Chunky Dunkers: 1 hour down, only 2 more to go!!! I am DETERMINED to keep my weekly commitment!!! πŸ˜‰ Oh, and plus I have started to track my food again today!! I am very happy to report that I am on target!! WHOO! HOO!! Oh, and did I mention that I passed up a HUGE cookie platter at a work celebration today??? MAMMA IS FEELING GOOD!!! πŸ˜‰

My Mind-Body-Spirit Connection – Literally!!

Good evening!

Ok, so where to begin?? Well, tonight was week 2 of my belly dancing class! I am soooooo LOVING this class!! If I didn’t hurt so badly after one, I could do this EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!!! I also have decided that I think it should be made a pre-requisite for any girl wanting to graduate from high school so that she is comfortable in her own skin. SERIOUSLY!!! πŸ˜‰

I had a HUGE Ah-Ha moment this evening!! I have always known that I have had a mind, a body, and a spirit, but I have always treated them as separate entities! I learn to be smart, I talk to God to be spiritural, and I exercise to be physical. I realized that might just be exactly what my problem has been all along. I have literally created this disconnect between these three areas of myself and I have never made the connection that they each are effected and are dependent on each other.

Was this a lesson I missed in school??

Was I sick the day that this was taught in church??

Was this a day when I was too busy to listen to my mother??

Why haven’t I ever realized this before????

I have always been a heavy person, so I had come to the conclusion that I am never going to be a truly physical person because I have no control over my body.

The Ah-Ha moment was when I realized this was BS!

I am learning that practicing belly dancing shows you that through action, and practice you can make your body do things that you NEVER thought it could do previously!! The instant the instructor said,

“You can not think to do the move, you have to just let it happen.”

“What? That doesn’t make any sense”, my mind said to my body.
“Try it anyway!”, my spirit said!!

and the next thing I know, I am doing the move, at least the reflection of myself is doing the move, so I am assuming that person dressed like me, sweating like me, panting like me, is me!!

LIGHTBULB!!! YES, I CAN DO THESE MOVES!!

YES! I CAN BE A PHYSICAL PERSON!!!

But even more than that, my mind, and body, and spirit are all connected. They are not independent of each other! and if I am willing to put into practice actions that will challenge each of these three areas, they will rise to the occasion and things that I thought would never actually could happen, will happen. Now I think I understand what the Bible means when it says that men (or women) can move mountains!!

Am I the last one to have learned this lesson??? I sure hope not! I just can’t believe that I can do these moves!!!

I will tell you more about my day, tomorrow!! I even have pictures to post!!! but this girl has got to take her tired body, mind, and spirit to bed!! πŸ˜‰

Have a FABULOUS evening!!

A Night of Shimmying!!

Good morning!

Well, I did it!!! I can’t believe it, but I did!!! My belly dancing class last night was sooooo much fun!!! What an EMPOWERING class!!! I had always thought that belly dancing was for the benefit of men, after last night I realize that the power in belly dancing belongs entirely to women!! Taking charge of your body, undulating, swaying, and shimmying. When combined with the music, there is almost something magical that happens that just pulls the moves out of you – I can’t think of how else to describe it!!

I also love that belly dancing is so accepting of all ages, body types, and conditions!! And last night all categories were represented, so I fit right in!!! I really had nothing to be afraid of!!!! πŸ˜‰ I have muscles I never knew that I had that are hurting right now (but in a satisfying way)!!! What an AWESOME way to trick yourself into exercising!!! πŸ˜‰ I can not WAIT until next week’s class!!

Well, I have got to zip off to work!!!

Have a FABULOUS day!!! πŸ˜‰