Monthly Archives: September 2017

Spiraling! Spiraling!

A chain on a black background breaks

Good morning, Beautiful Creatives!

Okay, so here goes. Forewarning, I am keeping it real!

I am not doing so hot.

I am not sure if it is just that I am highly sensitive and there is not enough alone time, out in naturetime, quality time with the hubby, if living on east coast time while living on the west coast is becoming too much, or if there really is just too much going on in this girls life for her to handle.

I feel like I am spiraling the drain.

I am tired.

I am burnt out.

I feel completely and totally disconnected.

These are all things that my inner Chrissie is non too happy about!

I have learned long ago that there will be no one to come and rescue me, or save me, that if I want to fix what is going on, I have to take action and make the necessary changes happen. As much as I think I love change, the freshness, the newness, and the excitement that change can bring,

I am also quite scared of it.

I never want to hurt or disappoint anyone, but what I am learning is that you can’t live your authentic life without disappointing someone.

I know the change I need to make, a couple of them actually. I am not going to speak them aloud out here, I want the people affected to know first hand. These changes are big, life-upheaveal kind of changes, and if I am honest, VERY SCARY changes. and if you were looking in on my life, through a window, they might seem like, “WTF” kind of changes, but I have learned something else throughout this past year…

To live authentically, you have to live radically, and unapologetically.

You don’t ask for permission, you give notice.

(Thank you, Miss Lisa Nichols, for those lessons!)

For my sanity’s sake, and for my mental health’s sake, it is time to stop apologizing, give notice, and make the damn change already.

Yeah, that feels like it is Brave Girl Panty worthy!! 🙂

Here is to a Brave Girl Panty kind of day!

 

Monday, 2017-09-11

Good morning, beautiful creatives!

This is week #2 for me, of waking up at 4:30 AM. It is getting easier! I really am enjoying my time up, in the early morning, before anyone else is up and at em!

My mind is already racing though, thank you very much chronic anxiety – I will beat you one day!! But, today, I am just breathing in to it!

I always want to try and talk about something soft and fluffy, because that is usually the kinds of things that I am needing to hear, but today, the thing that keeps running through my mind is today’s data.

9/11

Now, for most Americans this is a date that will continue to haunt, well, at least it does me anyway!

Back on THE 9/11, my hubby and I were living in a different place, and I was just waking to get ready for work. We always awoke with the radio and for some reason, today’s show was different.

I wasn’t really getting out of bed yet, just laying there in that place that is halfway between awake and asleep. They were saying that a plane had gone into one of the Twin Towers in Manhattan, New York. They were talking like it was some kind of a horrific accident, the pilot must have been drunk or something.

Pretty quickly, the radio hosts got word that it was a terrorist attack in progress.

That got both of us out of bed pretty quickly.

I remember getting dressed, and calling my dad to tell him to turn on the news. I then proceeded to make a round of calls just making sure that all of my sisters were safe and aware, as we were on our way over to my sister-in-laws place to watch the news unfold together with family.

We arrived just in time to see plane #2 go into the Towers. It was terrifying, and surreal, and something that looked like it just came out of a Hollywood movie, but not a movie that I would ever want to see.

I remember that my family was the most important thing to me that day, but I also remember that as the day that my naive sense of safety went away, that somehow the bad things that I saw on the news really didn’t just happen to other people. That somehow I was immune to this badness.

I remember that leaving a really bad scar.

One that I still struggle with to this day.

Here we are, 16 years later, and although I no longer think about those horrible events, every-single-day, I do start feeling a bit “off” when this date comes around, and then when I actually do see the date of this day, I am reminded. And then I say a little prayer for all of those affected. The survivors, those that didn’t survive, the family members of all that were involved, and for all of those throughout our country, those who might feel like me, still-a-bit shell shocked by it all, and I hope that in some small way, I can somehow still help make the world a better place.

That is doable, right? I am not sure. I ask myself this all of the time, and I give myself no other choice, but to continue to have hope that it is doable!

Here is to remembering what is most important!

A Peaceful Sunday Morning!

beautiful landscape of meadow sunrise

Good morning, Beautiful Creatives!

This morning, at my house, is a very peaceful place to be!

Almost all of the chores are already done, papa is in the kitchen making breakfast, and Gracie and Bitsy are in their bed in the living room playing with one of their favorite stuffed squeaky toys!

Breakfast, in case you are curious, is 1/2 a bagel with cream cheese, 2 scrambled eggs with one slice of bacon in it! That will be followed by some fresh berries!! YUM!

After breakfast, we will all pile into the car and head over to Dutch Brothers to pick up our weekend splurge, which is one of their freezes! But then, we are back to the house, and spending a quality lazy day together!

So far, besides hanging with my little fam at the manse, I know I am going to put a big pot of chili on later this afternoon, which is one of our favorites! That is in honor of the fact that the weather is finally starting to cool down around here, and we can feel our favorite season rolling in…FALL!! I can not wait until the leave starts changing colors – they may have already, I just don’t seem to get out of the house every day to check on their progress! So, for my hubby and I, we are officially back into the season of Hygge!! MY FAVE!!!

For us this means, candles, homey meals, fires in the fireplace, snuggling while watching movies, or reading, under big fuzzy blankets on the sofa, bundled up walks around our neighborhood while holding hands, and pretty much living a quality, but simple life just enjoying each other in the moment! Doesn’t that sound dreamy??? Now you can see why Fall is our favorite time of year!

As I write this, I also stop and think about all of the people in the Southeastern part of this country, and all of the tragedy they are going through, as the States experience one of the worst hurricane seasons in our history. It really breaks my heart! I feel so helpless, and don’t really know what to do to help! So, for now, I pray!

Okay, so I realize that might have come a little bit out of left field, but this is how my brain works…random thoughts pop in and out whenever and wherever they want to. I have made the conscious decision that if this morning journaling session is going to happen, then it has to be real. So there you go…you are welcome! 😉

Anyway, I am hoping that this feeling of peace can last throughout the entirety of my day, I realize that not everyone is so lucky. My heart goes out to you!

Here is to finding a little bit of peace, wherever you may be!

 

What Matters Most Right Now?

In nature after fog

Good morning, Beautiful Creatives!

What matters most right now?

This is a question that has been a constant friend over the past few days! When I hear it, in my head, I try to not only answer it, but I am trying to make it my practice to actually take action on it!

What matters most right now?

The answer to that question has varied quite a bit, but it has been everything from:

  • Go brush your teeth!
  • Schedule your bills!
  • Clean the kitchen!
  • Go journal!
  • It is time for a meditation!
  • Early to bed, please!
  • Go hug your sweetie!
  • Turn off the telly, it is time to get to work!
  • etc!

I think the Universe is trying to get me to really stay focused on what really needs my attention right now, and you know what? It is really making me feel more accomplished! Little baby-step kind of things that really matter to me. Doing this consistently over the past few days have left me feeling mentally, much better than I have in quite a while!

YAY!!

So…

What matters most right now?

Is there something that you can stop and take immediate action on?

If there is anything I can encourage you to do today, it is that!

GO DO THAT!!!

Here is to a Beautiful Creative day!

If you want to have a different life, you have to live differently!